Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 77827 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 389(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 259(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77827 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 389(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 259(@300wpm)
“So, where is your head?” Leighton asks.
“And how is he in the sack? I’m guessing as a bull rider, he’s got some moves.” Courtlynn waggles her eyebrows.
I ignore her, even though my face heats. He’s definitely got some moves on and off the bull. “I fall a little harder each day,” I admit. “His steady presence is comforting, and the way he always puts me first. Not that I’m some spoiled woman who needs all his attention, but with Macklin, he wants me to have it.”
“So, the two of you are dating?” Ellison asks.
“Honestly, I don’t really know what we are. I know that he wants to be. Hell, he’s told me he wants forever,” I confess.
“Wow,” Leighton breathes.
“He’s one of the good ones,” Ellison assures me.
“I know that in my heart. I do. He’s been incredible. It’s my head that seems to steer me off course. I’ve chosen wrong before, and this time, with Mac, I know my heart would never recover.”
“You’re in love with him.” Ellison’s words are soft, but they hit me like a ton of bricks. “I can see it in your eyes, Bay.”
My heart flops around like a fish out of water. Am I in love with him? “I really care about him,” I admit. “He’s… everything I could ever want. Kind, patient, attentive, sexy,” I add, knowing that I’m blushing, but these are my sisters, my constants.
“And the sex?” Courtlynn asks, shoving a cracker topped with cheese and pepperoni into her mouth.
“The best, hands down.”
“Whoop!” Courtlynn cheers. “Good. Get on with making more babies, would ya?” She stands and comes to take Lainey from my arms, and I let her. I can’t be a baby hog all night. “We need at least three more so we don’t have to fight over them,” she says, sitting back down on the couch and snuggling our niece.
My mind instantly goes to the two times I’ve slept with Macklin, and the fact that we didn’t use protection. I want to be a mother. I always have, and that’s why Todd’s choice hurt me so deeply. It wasn’t losing him that crushed me. It was the thought of never having a family.
“What?” Leighton asks. “There’s something you’re not saying.”
Damn little sisters. She always was the quiet, observant one. “We might not have used protection.”
“Might not or didn’t?” Ellison asks. “Might really isn’t in the equation here, Bay.”
“And you’re supposed to be the one good with math,” Courtlynn teases.
“Fine. We didn’t. Twice. We didn’t use a condom twice.”
“You’re still on the pill, though, right?”
“No.” The room grows silent. They’re not judging me, but I can tell that I’ve stunned them.
“Did he know?” Leighton asks.
“Yes, of course, he knew.”
“So, basically, what you’re telling us is that Macklin is aiming to be Daddy Mac sooner rather than later.”
I huff out a laugh. “I don’t know. Maybe. Yes. I’m not sure. We’re not officially together, but he’s all in. He tells me he’s all in, and I—I’m scared as hell that he’s going to change his mind.”
“Baylor,” Ellison says softly. “Macklin is not that kind of man. He’s the kind that means what he says. He lets his actions back up his words. We’ve known him for years. Do you really think he would say he’s all in, only to take it all back? Our lives are too intertwined for that.”
“No, but what if I’m wrong?”
“Baylor, you’re having unprotected sex with him,” Leighton speaks up. “That’s not you. Not unless you’re in this with him. It’s obvious to us that you’re falling hard for him and that you want to be with him, but you’re letting fear stop you.”
“Everything he says, the way he talks about what we could be, I want that,” I whisper, almost as if I’m afraid to speak the words out loud for fear of whatever it is we’re building will come crashing down around me.
“I vote you make all the babies,” Courtlynn says, breaking some of the tension, and we all laugh. “Now, who’s ordering pizza? Lainey is withering away to nothing over here,” Courtlynn jokes, so that’s what we do. We order pizza, and we spend time together, just like we used to.
I’m here, living it in color, not watching from states away. Happiness bubbles up inside me. It’s almost too good to be true. I’m here with my sisters, and I have a man who puts me first. Who wants me and anything that life happens to toss our way.
I need to take the leap. I need to trust him, and I do, but my mind keeps replaying those insecurities. I worry that if I don’t get off this, will I teeter-totter or not? Macklin will get tired of it and move on.
But, for tonight, I push all the worry and the fear to the back of my mind. I want to be here in this moment. I want to be present for my sisters and my niece, who won’t remember, but I will. I spent too many years being a spectator in their lives, and tonight, I’m here in real time, all of us together, and that’s what matters.