Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 91748 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 459(@200wpm)___ 367(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91748 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 459(@200wpm)___ 367(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
I nodded.
“No. Not in the last six months at least.”
“You broke up with someone?”
“Yeah. We dated for almost a year, but things …” She paused. “We just didn’t work.”
Huh. So, she had dated other guys. That wouldn’t be the case if she was fucking Calvin. I mean, she didn’t appear to be the kind that did that. But, hell, what did I know? I’d just met her.
I started walking again.
Maybe they really were just good friends. Gathe and Saylor had never fucked. Saylor was hot too. We all saw her as a sister, except Crosby. I thought it was because of how we had been raised together. But maybe not. Maybe it worked for other people.
Saylor got on my nerves most of the time, but I’d take a bullet for her. Didn’t mean I wanted to fuck her though. Gathe might have a point. If Calvin felt about Elsie like we did Saylor, then I got why he’d called Oz. He’d been desperate to keep her safe. I’d been an ass about it, but it really had nothing to do with her. Or him. It was his mom I hated. That and the cancer that was trying to take my mom.
When we reached the great room, Than was sitting on the sofa with Montana in his lap, giggling about something he was saying in her ear. No wonder Elsie had been escaping. Those two could be disgusting all over each other and unaware of anyone else in the room. Rude as fuck.
Montana noticed us first and straightened up, smiling brightly. “Hey,” she chirped out. Her cheeks were slightly flushed.
“We got rooms for that shit,” I told them, continuing to walk on by.
“Shut up,” Than growled at me.
I rolled my eyes, but no one saw me.
I didn’t mind Montana. Not as much as Gathe had. He’d wanted to fuck her, but Than had fallen in love with her, not only taking her off the buffet table, but also ending his bachelor lifestyle. Leaving Gathe and me, the last two of our group, single. Locke was still single, but he was older than us. He spent more time working than anything these days. When he did go out, he went with us.
By the time we reached the kitchen, I’d worked myself into another foul mood. I went inside and headed for the refrigerator. I’d not eaten lunch, and I was hungry. Glancing back when I opened the door, I saw Elsie standing just inside with her hands clasped in front of her.
“You wanted the kitchen? Hungry? Thirsty? Help yourself,” I told her.
She didn’t move. Was she reading me that well? I hadn’t snapped at her or anything. My mood had nothing to do with her. Just life. But then I guessed her mood probably wasn’t great either. I was losing my mom. She’d already lost hers. And her dad. Dammit. I kept forgetting that.
“Did you just want to get away from the make-out session?” I asked.
She blushed slightly. “No. I mean, they weren’t doing that when I was in there. I just … I wanted to be alone and out of the way.”
I reached into the fridge and pulled out the things I needed to make a sandwich, then put it on the bar. “They don’t live here, so technically, they’re in the way,” I told her. “But the alone thing I get. I feel that way. Most of the time.”
She tilted her head to the side slightly as she studied me. “Why do you want to be alone?” she asked almost too softly for me to hear her.
“We found out my mom had cancer back before the holidays. And … I’m not handling it well. The thought of losing her …” I stopped. I wasn’t sure how emotional this girl was, and I was talking about mothers dying.
There wasn’t sympathy in her gaze, but rather understanding. A sorrowful reflection that turned her silver eyes darker. As if she could feel my pain, and I guessed, in a way, she could and on a much deeper level. I stood there, watching her. Locked in on the gunmetal shade that the silver had become.
I was expecting an I’m sorry or some bullshit like that when she opened her mouth.
“It’s okay not to be okay.” Her words weren’t a whisper this time. They were clear and, I realized … validating.
I felt guilty for being pissed she was here. She’d just experienced a horrific trauma, yet she was standing here, giving me validation for the shit I was feeling. Telling me it was okay. Not that she knew what I was going through. But that my reaction to it was allowed. Something no one else had said to me.
Eight
Elsie
That was the darkness in his gaze. The turmoil that was brewing just below the surface. He was hurting. I understood that. My parents had been ripped from me. I’d not gotten a chance to tell them goodbye, or that I loved them, or that I was thankful to have them as my parents. But I also hadn’t watched them suffer. I hadn’t endured standing by helplessly while their bodies were attacked. He would get to say his goodbyes if the time came and his mother didn’t beat the disease. But I wasn’t sure if that wasn’t more horrific. Seeing her suffer and not being able to do anything to stop it would be a prolonged anguish.