Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 91748 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 459(@200wpm)___ 367(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91748 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 459(@200wpm)___ 367(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
I wouldn’t dig too deeply as to why because it was twisted in my head. I felt guilty for not thinking about Mom when I was around Elsie. But when she smiled? Damn, it was something else. I liked seeing it. Knowing she wasn’t dead inside after what she’d lost. That there was still an ability to enjoy things.
“Took you long enough,” Kash said.
I frowned. What the fuck did that mean?
“I didn’t realize I was on a schedule,” I snapped, annoyed.
He smirked at me. “Or you got sidetracked by our guest.”
I had waited around for Elsie to show up in the kitchen. But she still hadn’t come down after an hour and a half, so I’d given up, mad at myself for even doing it.
We’d all stayed up late last night, watching a chick flick that Winslet had picked out after the basketball games ended. I dealt with a few payouts and collections, then decided to join them. I’d done it to keep Gathe off Elsie. Or at least, that was part of it.
“I had some bets to call in this morning, and Oz wanted to see the payout spreadsheet,” I said defensively. Which wasn’t a lie. But it had only taken me five minutes to make sure it was completed before texting it to him.
“Uh-huh,” he replied, then shoved the last bit of cookie into his mouth before turning and going back toward the living room.
Fucker knew I was making excuses.
I followed him through the short hallway that was decorated with portraits of me and my brothers before entering the living room. There was a fire going in the fireplace, and Mom was curled up in her favorite chair with a sherpa throw covering her.
“Good morning,” she said brightly.
It was still hard to look at her with the scarf she wore over her bald head. That and her much-too-thin face and sunken-in cheekbones felt like they were sucking the air out of my lungs every damn time.
“Morning,” I called out, going straight to her and bending down to press a kiss on her cheek. It was cold. She was always cold. “You need me to juice this fire up some?” I asked, already going over to get another log to add to the flames.
“Oh, it’s fine, but go on ahead if you want to,” she replied.
“I just put a log on it,” Kash said, sinking down onto the sofa.
“Well, I’m adding another,” I informed him, tossing it on there and poking the flames a bit.
I had to do something. Thoughts of Mom being cold only made the caged feeling return.
“I’ve got fresh-out-of-the-oven cookies in the kitchen,” Mom said. “Go get you some.”
“I will in a minute,” I assured her and went to sit in Dad’s chair beside her. “How you feeling today?”
She sighed. “Good. Better.”
That was a lie. She never admitted to feeling poorly.
“Need me to get you anything?”
She reached over and squeezed my hand. “Not a thing. I’m fine. Just sit and take a minute. Tell me about your day yesterday.”
Yeah, I couldn’t do that. Elsie was off-limits, and that was the main topic.
“Had to handle the bookie work on my own last night with Oz making a run. That wasn’t much fun, but we made a good bit on it. Two upsets was a nice payoff.”
“Are you still thinking of moving in with the Bowens?” she asked.
Not an option, but again, I couldn’t tell her that. “Eh, eventually. Right now, things are good. No need to up and move.”
Mom smiled. “Who knows? You might be next. I’d like to see all my boys happy and in love.”
Ouch. Don’t go down that road, Mom. I will do anything for you, but not that. Please not that.
“Well, one of us has to be out there, having fun. I’m happy just like I am. Free of drama and commitment.”
Her laugh was like it had always been. It didn’t sound weak or sick. The sound was soothing. Reassuring. “Oh, honey, you have no idea. But one day … one day, you will.”
That was highly unlikely, but I let it go.
“Kash doesn’t see it as drama or commitment, and neither does Oz. Surely, you see that.”
I cut my eyes at Kash, who was trying not to laugh. He looked smug.
“Kash lost his mind years ago, first time he got a look at Cressida. Like he’d been waiting to fall in love. And Oz is just batshit. I know he’s your son, but, Mom, he’s a stalker. Obsessive psycho.”
Mom laughed again. “He is not,” she said. “He was just protecting Winslet until he could admit he was in love with her.”
I turned my head to look at her. “Mom, seriously? What he did was not sane.”
She pressed her lips together, and her eyes twinkled with amusement. “Perhaps it was a little off-balance, but Winslet forgave him. She loves him just as fiercely.”