Total pages in book: 169
Estimated words: 161535 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 808(@200wpm)___ 646(@250wpm)___ 538(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 161535 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 808(@200wpm)___ 646(@250wpm)___ 538(@300wpm)
Kalos speaks again, his words slow as if he’s choosing them carefully. “You…are not going to bathe me?”
I stare at him in shock. He really wants that.
But then I remember…Apathy.
He’s literally never had to take care of himself before, I wager. Even before we started this journey, he sat in the dark and let cobwebs grow on him rather than do…anything. I need to be patient. I need to remember that he can’t help how he is, and he probably hates being Apathy more than anyone. I put a cheery smile on my face. “You’re going to wash yourself and I’ll walk you through it, if that helps.”
He stares at me and sighs like a dramatic child. “Must I?”
“Yes. Those are the rules.”
“Who put you in charge? I am the god here.”
I gesture at him. “Great. Super. Does that mean you want to be in charge, then?”
“Well…no.”
“Then I’ll do it.” I indicate he should stand up. “Come by the fire and get the tub. You’re going to want to dump it outside and we’ll put fresh water in it.”
He gives me a reluctant look and gets to his feet slowly. Kalos moves to stand next to the tub and I head for the door, opening it so he can carry it out into the darkness and pour it into the muddy earth nearby.
“That’s far too much work,” he says, and tips it over, spilling filthy water all over the cottage’s floor.
I bite back my scream of frustration, because what did I expect? Why do I care if the floor is nasty? There’s literally a dead man under a blanket a few feet away. I take a few deep breaths to calm myself and try again. “Okay, well, now that the tub is clear of the dirty water, you can fill it again.”
“Or you could do it for me.”
“I could, but I won’t. If you want to get clean, you’re going to have to do it yourself.”
“What if I don’t want to get clean? I truly don’t care.” He tosses his muddy hair as if to defy me.
I cross my arms over my blanket-towel and eye him. While he’s Apathy, true, there’s something about this declaration that doesn’t sit perfectly well with me. How do I make him bathe? He’s a god—I can’t force him. After a moment, I suggest, “If you don’t bathe, you’re going to stand out when we make it to the next town, and we’ll be caught for sure. Do you want to stay alive?”
“I don’t care.”
I drum my fingers on my arm. “Then humor me. Do it for me and Dingle? Because I’d really like to live, and I think he would, too.”
We both look over at the goat, who’s lapping up water from the floor.
“Oh, very well.” Kalos gives another dramatic sigh. “Show me what I must do.”
Strangely enough, that worked. Huh. I’ll have to keep his affection for the goat as my ace in the hole. Kinda stings a bit that my well-being doesn’t move him as much as the goat’s happiness does, but I’ll take what I can get. For the next while, we get to work on bringing in more water. I have to show him how to operate the well, which is not easy to do in the darkness, and I don’t dare speak above a whisper. I warm the water for him because it’s too much effort to explain how, and as it heats up, I put on my wet dress and use a wide-tooth comb from the pack to detangle my hair. By the time I’m done, Kalos’s bath is ready.
“Come on then,” I say, gesturing at the half-full tub. “If you squeeze tight, you can probably fold most of yourself in there. I managed.”
He eyes it, then me. “And just…what?”
I make a washing gesture. “Scrub yourself?”
Kalos blinks at me. “In what way?”
I put my hands on my hips. Has this man never…wait, nope. No, he hasn’t. Okay, teaching a god how to wash his ass wasn’t on my bingo card. I guess if you’ve never bathed yourself before, you wouldn’t know where to start. I…guess? It seems bizarre to me, but what about this situation isn’t? “Right. Fine. Get naked, and I’ll do it for you this time, and you can handle it from then on, all right?”
“If you insist.”
He makes it sound like this is all my idea. It’s amusing and irritating at the same time. “You can’t just wander around a major city covered in mud, my friend. It’s just not done. We want to blend in, remember?”
“I suppose.” Kalos pulls his filthy robe over his head and drops it to the floor.
The very wet, dirty floor. I bite back another protest because…well, it can’t get any dirtier, right?
I’m also reminded that Kalos is a grown man, but I don't think I've seen him naked before. If I had, I think I’d remember that he has a huge, pale cock tipped with a bright pink head. As cocks go, it’s perfect. Which makes sense, given that he’s a god. Even so, does he have to have everything just…all hanging out while I’m trying to concentrate?