Total pages in book: 169
Estimated words: 161535 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 808(@200wpm)___ 646(@250wpm)___ 538(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 161535 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 808(@200wpm)___ 646(@250wpm)___ 538(@300wpm)
Oh.
It’s hard to stay furious when he says things like that. When his gaze flicks to my lips as if he wants to kiss me, even now, when I’m sick and sweaty and exhausted. “Don’t forget Dingle.”
His hard mouth crooks up on one side in a reluctant smile. “That ridiculous goat. I care for him, too. But he’s a goat and I don’t feel the urge to kiss him or make him happy.”
My heart flutters. “I just…I want you to care about people, too. I know your job is hard. I know you’re being hampered by being Apathy. But just because people think you’re terrible doesn’t mean you have to lean into it. You can change their perception of you, but you have to try.” I realize I’m still twisting handfuls of his clothing, and I release the fabric, smoothing it with my hand. “I don’t think I can live with myself if we spread plague all over the world. Maybe you’re used to it, but I’m not. I don’t want people to suffer on my behalf, just because I don’t want to die just yet.”
He lifts his hand and gently rubs his knuckles over my cheek. They feel cool, which means I’m still fevered. “You are in charge, Elsie. You tell me where you wish to go.”
“Somewhere safe. Somewhere quiet.” I study him. “Can you promise not to spread plague?”
“I didn’t realize I was doing it before.” He lifts one shoulder in a shrug. “But I can try.”
I feel like a jerk. I’ve gotten to know him. Of course he wouldn’t spread plague on purpose. He might be disliked, and he might be Apathy, but he’s not cruel for the sake of being cruel. Not like Seth, who wanted to cut my hands off just because “Anchors don’t need them.” For a moment, I feel genuinely sorry for Margo. The moment Seth gets tired of her little aggressions, she’s going to be in a world of hurt. “I would like for you to try,” I say to Kalos. “It might not be anything to you, but it truly bothers me.”
His cool fingers trace my chin. “For you, I will try harder.”
And what else is there to say? Because I know his limitations. I know he struggles, and I know this isn’t easy for him. I know it isn’t easy to follow me through swamps and fields, when he’d rather sit in a chair and let cobwebs grow over him. He does this for me, and change won’t happen overnight. The fact that he’s willing to try is everything. I lean into his touch, realizing just how long it’s been since someone was affectionate with me. Even back on Earth, David was never the hugging sort. He tried to suffer in silence, and I put on a cheerful face for him. Because I was helping David with finances and his medical appointments, I never had time to date.
Maybe that’s why Kalos’s fingers feel magical as he touches me. Maybe that’s why I move forward and press my face to his shirt, letting him wrap his arms around me. He holds me tight, his hand rubbing down my back. I’m hugging the god of disease, and it’s the best hug ever. I keep expecting him to move, to push me back, to indicate that he doesn’t want to touch me, to comfort me.
Instead, he just holds me tighter, and I feel his head resting against mine. “I’m sorry I’ve made you sick.”
“I’ll manage. It only happens when you use your powers, right? So just don’t use them.”
“I still hate it.”
“I know.”
He runs his hand down my hair, and I resist the urge to purr like a kitten. God, why haven’t we been touching like this for months now? This is amazing. I want to curl up against him and just bask in the gentle touches, the soft stroking, the comfort he’s giving me. He’d let me, I suspect. He’s willing to follow my lead anywhere.
Which is why I need to make sure I lead us somewhere safe. If I wanted to stay here and let Seth catch us, he’d do it. Not just because it’s what I want, but because he’s Apathy and it’s easier to do nothing. I must remember that.
Reluctantly, I pull from his grip. “We should get going before someone realizes we’re gone.”
“Can you travel?” he asks, studying my face.
“I can.” Because there’s not an option otherwise. I refuse to let Seth win. I refuse to lie down and give up. Bracing myself, I straighten and reach for my discarded cloak.
“Then where should we go?” he asks.
Good question. Where do we go that’s safe? Where do we go that we don’t spread plague or get hunted by rivals? Where do we go that it’s quiet and peaceful and we can relax and ride this out? Not only do we have to avoid Kalos’s other aspects, but we have to avoid Seth now, too. “Maybe we continue our plan of backtracking,” I say, fastening my cloak around my neck again. My limbs feel heavy and slow, but I hope the fever fades as we get going. “We go where Seth left. You know they were watching us?”