Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 101758 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 509(@200wpm)___ 407(@250wpm)___ 339(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 101758 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 509(@200wpm)___ 407(@250wpm)___ 339(@300wpm)
“Good morning,” she says, flashing me a smile. “I hope I didn’t wake you.”
“Why are you up?” I walk over and wrap my arms around her from behind and bury my face in her neck. “I was going to make you come at least twice this morning.”
She chuckles and leans back into me. “That sounds amazing, but I have to leave in a few. I have a car coming.”
I scowl down at her.
“You don’t have to be at the airport for another two hours.”
“Traffic’s awful, and this way you don’t have to take me.”
“I want to take you.”
I let go of her and stride around the island so I can lean my hips on the opposite countertop and cross my arms over my chest.
“What the fuck is going on with you, Ivy?”
She shakes her head, and I laugh humorlessly.
“No more fucking lies. Just tell me what’s wrong. You’re making me crazy. I can see it written all over you that you’re not okay, and I can’t do a damn thing to help if you won’t talk to me. This isn’t who we are, baby.”
“I’m—” She blows a raspberry and pushes her hands into her hair. “I’m just worried.”
“About what?”
She nibbles her lip and stares at the countertop.
“You’re happy here,” she says, and when her gaze lifts to me, I nod slowly. “And this is where you’re supposed to be. Anyone can see it. You’re so at home out there with that team, hockey is in your blood.”
What the fuck is this?
Is she trying to break up with me?
My heart has stopped beating.
My mind is spinning.
Women leave. You know better than to get in a motherfucking relationship because your own goddamn mother didn’t stay for you and your siblings. Women aren’t permanent, you idiot.
“You’re so amazing, Xander. But I’m so scared.”
“Okay, now we’re getting somewhere. What are you afraid of?”
Christ, I want to touch her. I need to hold her.
But my feet won’t move from this spot.
“You—” Her lips tremble, and she presses them together before continuing. “What if you hurt your head again and you forget me?”
“That won’t happen.” I shake my head. “No, that won’t happen, Ivy.”
“It’s happened twice already!” Her face is stricken as she stares at me. “Twice. I’m so in love with you, it’ll destroy me if you get hurt again and forget everything we’ve built together. You want to be here, you want to play. And you should. But Jesus, Xander, what about us? What if something happens and you forget m-me, and we’re n-not a we anymore?”
I can’t fucking stand it. I rush around the island and yank her to me, crushing her against me.
“No. You listen to me, that’s not going to happen.”
“But you can’t promise. You can’t promise.” She pulls away and shakes her head. Her phone pings, and when she checks it, her eyes close. “That’s my car.”
“Stay. Don’t go back to Montana. You need to stay here so we can talk this out.”
She shakes her head and reaches for her bag, and the world falls out from under me.
“You’re leaving.”
“I’ll be back in less than two days. I have to go. Because I also have a job that I love and responsibilities back home. I’m coming back.”
I don’t think you are.
I don’t believe her.
“Fine.” I take a breath and step farther away from her. “Go ahead and leave, just like all women do.”
“I’m not leaving you, Xander. I’ll be back the day after tomorrow.”
I don’t reply. I’ve already asked her to stay. I’ve already tried to reassure her.
I’ll be fucking damned if I’ll beg.
“I’ll text you when I get there.”
I lift my chin but don’t say anything.
“I love you.”
Fuck me.
“I love you too, Ivy.”
And with that, the woman I love more than anything in the world walks out of my penthouse and out of my fucking life.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
IVY
Ilanded in Bitterroot Valley at eight in the morning and was at work at the hospital by nine. I didn’t even have time to go home to see Cally, who I feel so guilty for leaving for a whole week. Ava’s been at the house every day to see her, but still. That’s not enough people time for her.
It seems guilt is just my middle name today.
I never keep my phone on me during work, but I quickly check it between patients, just to see if Xander ever texted me back after I landed.
Spoiler alert: He didn’t.
I know he’s upset, and I should have stayed to talk it out, but all I could think was that I had to go. First of all, the patients need me today, and I can’t just not show because my love life is bruised up. That’s not okay.
And second, maybe I just need a minute to breathe and get my head on straight.
Thankfully, the day goes fairly smoothly, and I’m off work by six, so I immediately go home, and when I walk through the door, Cally comes running. She purrs and weaves through my legs as I set my stuff down, and then I lift her in my arms and hug her close, bury my face in her side, and feel the tears come.