Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 91363 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 365(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91363 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 365(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
“Do I want to grieve with you?” I asked.
“Sure. Like a friend. You and Ben are just friends. Maybe you can be my friend, too.”
I didn’t want to be that kind of friend to Matt, but I also didn’t want to wait for him to properly grieve Julianne before seeing him again.
“Fine,” I said with fake exasperation in my voice. “I’ll be your friend. But I get to pick the movie because The Terminator is not a breakup movie.”
“I disagree. It might be the ultimate breakup movie. It’s The Terminator. The end. But I was thinking something like Aliens.”
“Oh jeez. I’d better bring the ice cream. You’re obviously the kind of person who would get a flavor with nuts in it.”
“Gabby, please don’t tell me you’re not a fan of rocky road.”
I grinned. There was a lot I knew about Matt. But one of his least attractive traits was his love of rocky road ice cream. I hated nuts in anything. Peanuts by themselves or peanut butter was fine, but not nuts in cookies, ice cream, or candy bars.
“Rainbow sherbet,” I said.
“Noooo!”
I giggled.
“Gabby, that’s not even real ice cream.”
“It is too.”
“Yuck. But that’s fine. I’ll get you fake ice cream and real rocky road for me. I’ll meet you out front at seven.”
CHAPTER NINE
TERENCE TRENT D’ARBY, “WISHING WELL”
Gabby
My brain was mush. After breakfast, I spent the afternoon trying to study, but I couldn’t focus on anything but Matt. He said we’d be friends, but he also saw me in my bra. So what if, in the middle of the movie, he decided we should be friends who kissed? With Terence Trent D’Arby’s “Wishing Well” playing on my alarm clock radio, I felt like anything was possible.
Since Olivia went out with some of the other girls on our floor, I was left to my own devices to pick out my clothes, style my hair, and apply makeup. I kept my hair straight and my makeup was nothing more than cherry ChapStick, so I got adventurous and wore jeans that were a little tighter and rolled them up at the bottom to show a little bare leg. And I wore a V-neck sweater instead of a more conservative crewneck.
Of course, I was ready an hour early with nothing to do but dream of being alone with Matt on a sofa, maybe under a blanket, for as long as I wanted because I no longer had a curfew. What were the chances of him kissing me? Who could resist cherry ChapStick?
I looked around, even though I knew I was alone, and kissed the back of my hand. It was fine. Yummy cherry. But my hand didn’t kiss me back. Was I going too slow? Too fast? Not hard enough? Would tongue be involved? And who would initiate it? The movies made it look so easy, but those were actors with experience in kissing. I had no experience.
Hopping off Olivia’s bed, I wiped the back of my hand on a towel and ran up to the fourth floor. After two knocks, Ben answered.
“Where’s Jason?” I stepped past Ben to give his room a quick inspection.
“Bowling or something. I don’t know. What’s up?”
I turned toward him as he closed the door. “Do you love me? Like I’m truly your very best friend in the world?”
He squinted for a few seconds before nodding slowly.
“I’m going to Matt’s tonight to watch a movie. He says we’re just friends, but I don’t know if that’s true. And I’m so scared that he’s going to kiss me.”
“Then tell him no. It’s your right to say no. And for God’s sake, he just broke up with his girlfriend.” He crossed his arms over his chest.
“No duh. But what if he doesn’t want to grieve his breakup? What if I don’t want to say no if he tries to kiss me?”
“Fuck, Gabbs.” He rolled his eyes like I suddenly annoyed him, and I must have since he dropped the F word again. “Then suck face with him. Whatever. What is your deal?”
“I don’t know how to kiss!” I balled my hands, then relaxed them when Ben gave me a look that confirmed my outburst lacked any sort of sanity.
What was happening to me?
Why had my desperation smothered all dignity and instinct for self-preservation?
“If you really love me, you’ll kiss me.” I scraped my teeth along my glossed lower lip. “Please.”
Ben planted his hands on his hips and gazed at the ceiling.
“I won’t tell Olivia or anyone. I promise. And we’ll never speak of it again after tonight.”
He remained stock-still. Maybe he was saying a brief prayer while looking to God. Something like: “Dear Lord, please let Gabby flunk out of school so I can gain a higher education in peace.”
“No way, Gabbs.”
“Way, Ben. Way!” I added prayer hands to my pathetic, desperate whine.