Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 116759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 584(@200wpm)___ 467(@250wpm)___ 389(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 116759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 584(@200wpm)___ 467(@250wpm)___ 389(@300wpm)
I hadn’t seen Belle in ages and was glad to see Jo and Cam’s daughter was here without the boyfriend everyone hated.
“She dumped him,” Beth informed me.
“Huh?”
“Belle. She dumped the arsehole after she found out he was cheating on her.”
“I’m glad she got rid of him,” I murmured.
“Now, what’s this Jan is talking about?”
Callan cleared his throat and released Beth. “I think I’ll go grab another drink.”
She smiled gratefully at him, then turned to me as her boyfriend departed.
“Beth—”
My cousin took my arm before I could stop her and shuffled me out of the kitchen.
The Carmichaels’ townhouse was mammoth. The ground floor had a grand vestibule that led into a hallway with a wide, opulent curving stairwell. Three doors split off to the huge kitchen my aunt and uncle had renovated a few years ago, a TV room, a guest bedroom, a bathroom, and Uncle Braden’s office. On the next floor was the primary suite, a huge second living room, and Aunt Joss’s office. The top floor had been my cousins’ floor growing up. They each had a bedroom and shared a bathroom. When I was a wee kid, I thought my cousins lived in a palace.
Beth led me into the TV room and shut the door. They’d color drenched the room with a moody blue. The sofa was a sumptuous corner unit that could seat about ten people and was in a mustard-gold velvet that worked beautifully against the blue. Scatter cushions in blues and yellows and coppers made you want to dive on it so you could enjoy the enormous flat-screen TV on the opposite wall.
Beth sat down and I reluctantly followed suit.
“What’s going on?”
I shrugged unhappily. “I’m fine.”
“That was the least-sounding fine I’ve ever heard in my life. Why aren’t you telling Jan and/or your parents what’s up?”
“It’s Christmas and I don’t want to bring anyone down, okay.”
Beth raised an eyebrow. “Clearly, that plan is working great.”
“If they knew what was wrong, they’d watch me like a bird with a broken wing for the rest of Christmas break and I can’t stand the thought of that.”
“Then tell me. Maybe it’ll help. Has it got something to do with Sebastian?”
Groaning, I rested my face in my hands for a few seconds and then dropped them to meet Beth’s sympathetic stare. Maybe telling Beth would help me figure out my next move.
I told her about the last few months of very confusing signals from Sebastian. The Christmas gift he’d given me that was currently hidden in a drawer in the bedroom back at my flat. And without going into too much detail, the kisses we’d shared and the resultant aftermath.
While I hadn’t told Beth the details of Sebastian’s trauma, I did tell her there was something in his past that he blamed himself for. That it was big, and he was punishing himself over it.
“Oh wow.” Beth considered this. “You really think he won’t pursue a relationship with you because he’s punishing himself for some past transgression?”
“All evidence points to it. I don’t even think he realized that’s what he’s doing until I said it out loud.” My gut twisted. “When I said it, he looked like he was going to be sick.”
“Oof.”
“Oof indeed.” The ache in my chest intensified. “I don’t know what to do. I mean enough to him that he wants my friendship. But I don’t mean enough to him to work through his issues to be with me romantically.”
Beth took my hand. “Lily, forget about Sebastian’s feelings for a second. I’m interested in yours and what’s best for you. If you think you can continue being his friend, then do it, but I suggest putting boundaries in place. If you think you can’t, then you should sever all ties.”
“It would hurt him.”
“If remaining his friend hurts you, I’m sorry, I don’t care if ending the friendship hurts him. Sometimes we have to be selfish to protect our own mental health.”
Neither option made me feel any better. In fact, the thought of not seeing Sebastian anymore was like a crushing weight on my chest. “I … I think I want to keep him in my life. But … with boundaries. Not like before. We were in each other’s pockets before.”
“He was acting like a boyfriend without the benefits,” Beth opined dryly. “That boy is in serious denial. You know Callan was in denial for a while.”
“You said.” I smiled unhappily. When Callan and Beth started dating, it was casual. With an end date and everything. Callan didn’t want the casual dating to stop but Beth was falling for him, so she broke it off. It didn’t take Callan long to realize he was in love with her and to come groveling back.
Remembering the haunted look on Sebastian’s face, I shook my head. “I don’t think Sebastian’s ready to let go of the past. I’m not sure he ever will be.”