Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 111165 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 556(@200wpm)___ 445(@250wpm)___ 371(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 111165 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 556(@200wpm)___ 445(@250wpm)___ 371(@300wpm)
She nods, rubbing her frail hands together. “I should have done that a long time ago with your father.”
She looks so…alone.
My heart pinches.
I get up from my chair and walk over to her, pulling her into a hug. “It’s never too late to start again.”
She wraps her arms around me and quietly cries. I don’t know how long we stand there like that. Our relationship will always be damaged, always be tainted by our past. But maybe, just maybe, there can be another phase of it, where we are better versions of our past selves.
“Laz,” Noah says.
Still holding onto my mother I look over at him in the doorway. “Yah?”
A tiny smile tugs at his lips. “Your ride is here.”
I frown. “My ride? Noah, I have a car.”
“And you aren’t driving in your condition,” my mother says.
“Then I’ll stay overnight here, sleep in my old room,” I tell her.
“But your ride is here,” Noah says again. Then he jerks his head toward the front door.
What the fuck is going on?
I let go of my mother and walk through the kitchen all the way through the foyer to the front door.
I open it.
A yellow VW bug with a bee decal on the side is parked in the driveway, engine running.
Bloody hell.
I look behind at Noah.
“Why is she here?”
“I called her,” he says, now with a bit of a smirk.
“Why?”
“Because she’s your best friend, isn’t she? And your best friend should be there for you. I told her what happened and she said she was coming right over.”
I have a hard time believing that and yet here she is.
My heart starts to skip.
“Noah...”
“Hey, don’t get all mushy with me. Go home.”
“You did the right thing in calling me, you know?”
“I know. Now go. We’ll be okay.”
“I don’t want to leave you both.”
He pushes at my shoulder. “We’ll be okay. I’ll take care of Sarah.”
“You shouldn’t be alone.”
“We aren’t. We have each other. Got it?”
I nod reluctantly. “I’ll come by tomorrow.”
“Okay. Can you bring some In-N-Out?”
I smile. “Of course.”
Then I gather up my courage and head down the steps to the car.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
MARINA
“NEVER LET ME DOWN AGAIN”
The moment I got the call from Noah, I knew I could no longer pretend that Laz didn’t matter to me. I couldn’t pretend he didn’t mean anything.
In fact, all my stubbornness and conviction over ignoring him had disintegrated the moment I came home from the movies with Naomi and saw what he had done to my place.
It scared the shit out of me at first. I thought that maybe some crazy serial killer had broken into my studio and left psycho letters all over my walls. You know, ones that say the same word over and over again or perhaps photos of me taken with zoom lenses, my eyes scratched out. That sort of thing. Doesn’t help that the movie I saw with Naomi was a thriller.
But when I flicked on the lights and had a good look, I realized it was the opposite of something scary.
It was Laz.
It was Laz over every single inch of my walls.
Poem after poem after poem.
Printed out on sheets of paper, taped to the walls.
Some poems were short and sweet. Describing the subject as honey.
Others were long and tortured, filled with darkness.
And others still were brimming with pain and beauty, both intermingling at once, like snakes wrapping around a caduceus.
I took every single one off the walls and read them.
I read them all until I realized that every single one was about me.
This was his book of Marina poems, printed out for me to read.
I sat on my bed and held the poems to my chest and I cried.
I cried because he was showing me his heart the only way he knew how.
I cried because I love him more than anything and his heart is all I’ve ever wanted.
I cried because I don’t know what it means, how we can find our way back to each other, the way we were before. I don’t know if it’s possible to go back.
But I want to try. I really do.
I just hope he wants to too. That this isn’t just lip service. That the numerous flowers and teddy bears and gift baskets he sent my way weren’t empty gestures. That this, us, is something he won’t run from again. I’m not sure I’d survive it again.
Then the phone call came from Noah, totally catching me off guard since it was so late and though we exchanged numbers after Pride, he’s never called me before.
When he told me that Laz was involved in a fight with Daryl, that Daryl was arrested and Laz was hurt, I dropped the poems, grabbed my purse and ran out the door.
There was no hesitation.
Now I’m sitting in the driver’s seat, picking him up for once and he’s opening the door and peering at me in disbelief.