Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 111165 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 556(@200wpm)___ 445(@250wpm)___ 371(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 111165 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 556(@200wpm)___ 445(@250wpm)___ 371(@300wpm)
I close my eyes, trying not to cry.
He takes in a deep, shaking breath. “I love you. I’ve always loved you. And I am absolutely, brilliantly in love with you. I was just too blind, too scared and too…inexperienced to see it. To let myself feel it. Because I didn’t think I deserved to feel that good.” I open my eyes and find him staring deep into every part of me, his eyes burning with truth. “You’re like moonshine on the darkest night. You shine a light on who I am and make me want to be a better person. And you’ve made me realize that I too deserve love. I never thought I did. My whole life I thought I didn’t. And now, because of you, I do.”
He pauses. “Because of you, because of you, I love.”
My heart bursts at his words.
I grab him hard, my fingers digging into his back and pull him to me, tucking my head into his chest and holding on for dear life.
“I love you still,” I tell him. “I love you always.”
“I am so sorry,” he says, choking up. “I am…I know I deserve love but I don’t know if you can find it in your heart to give me a second chance. I know I’m new at this but I don’t want to be bad at this. I want to learn, I want to learn with you. Together.”
I just nod, tears starting to fall.
His embrace tightens, he kisses the top of my head. “Marina, if you give me another chance, I promise I’ll make it up to you. I promise I won’t leave. I promise I’ll love you forever, to give you everything you need. I know I’m moody and I’m in my head a lot and I know I’ve been just a horrible idiot as of late. I know all this. But, please, I need another chance. I need another chance at this, another chance at us. Please.”
I swallow thickly, trying to breathe.
If I was a more bitter person, if I let my anger dictate things, then I would probably push him away. Tell him it couldn’t work. That I was too hurt. That we were both too fucked up and complicated. If I was someone like Naomi and he was someone like Robert, then I would.
But we aren’t them.
Not even close.
He’s Laz. I’m Marina. And this is the us that we’ve always been. We love in our own ways, we grow in our own ways, but we’re better if we’re loving and growing together.
So I don’t push him away.
I keep him close.
Because I love him.
“I love you, Laz,” I whisper.
“I love you, too,” he whispers back. “I love you so bloody much.”
He reaches down, grabs my chin and kisses me.
Long, hard. Full of life, full of love.
We stumble backward to the bed.
Our clothes come off in a dance of hands and mouths.
Our bodies come together with a meeting of the hearts.
Poetry at our feet.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
MARINA
“SHINE”
“Hiya, we’re Magic 8 Ball and we’re here for your pleasure,” Laz says into the microphone.
The crowd goes wild.
Well, they were already a little wild. Magic 8 Ball is playing a small stage at the FYF Fest (or the “Fuck Yeah Festival” Fest which makes the name a little redundant) and are playing right in the middle of the day at Exposition Park. It’s hot, bright, crowded, sweaty, I’m pretty sure everyone is high on a multitude of drugs and they’ve been “wooooooing” non-stop.
This is a big deal for Laz and Magic 8 Ball though.
For one, they’ve never played a show this big.
For two, it’s been a few months now that Laz and Frank have started writing their own material and half of their setlist is now all original songs.
That’s right, shortly after Laz and I got back together, he threw himself head first into writing original songs for the band. He says I’m his muse, that I inspired him.
He inspires me. Every day. To love harder. To work harder.
We’re head over heels in love with each other.
It’s not fading.
It’s growing stronger and stronger every day.
“This is so cool,” Noah whispers to me in awe. “Is that Trent Reznor?”
“Where?” I ask, whipping my head around, hoping to see one of my heroes. I catch a glimpse of a guy with short, dark hair heading down the stairs at the back of the stage. Maybe…
We’re on the side of the stage at the show with other musicians and VIPs and because big acts play this stage later in the day and night, it’s huge and the festival crowd spreading out in front of the stage is even bigger. I know they aren’t all here to see Magic 8 Ball, probably the band afterward, Chromeo, but it doesn’t matter. I can feel their energy.
So can the band. Laz whips into their first song, one he wrote called “A Friend for the End of the World,” and I’ve never seen them play with such confidence and vibrancy before.