Total pages in book: 127
Estimated words: 120186 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 601(@200wpm)___ 481(@250wpm)___ 401(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 120186 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 601(@200wpm)___ 481(@250wpm)___ 401(@300wpm)
Who would live or die. And how he would profit off their pain.
All of a sudden, I’m so fucking thirsty. He always kept the good stuff in here. Might as well drink it. I snatch the bottle of Macallan 18 from the bar and pour two fingers before tipping a little more into the glass. Silence settles all around me, and I bring the glass to my lips.
The first sip lightens the pressure on my chest, and the second helps ease the tension in my muscles. While I drink, I fight like hell not to look at that chair. There’s an indent in the leather formed by his body. The whole thing is so fucking sick and sad.
“I thought I might find you here.” Elena’s soft voice startles me into almost dropping the glass. “I’m sorry,” she whispers like he’s still here, and she can’t speak. Then she laughs, the sound broken and shaky. “Old habits die hard. I have to stop apologizing for everything.”
It’s as good a place to start as any.
I sip the whiskey, savoring the burn down my throat. I should say something, but I don’t have the first fucking clue what.
She saves me the trouble. “Kade, I won’t pretend to understand how you must feel. What happened…” She looks at the floor, folding her arms across her chest, rubbing them like she’s chilly. “It was a terrible thing, but it wasn’t your fault. You did what you had to. You saved your brother’s life. Saint’s life. One of us had to be strong enough eventually, and it was you, and you shouldn’t live in guilt or be ashamed for it.”
What the fuck is she saying? I’m speechless. Inside, I know she’s right. He was going to kill them. That was only one part of why I pulled that trigger, though. The thing is, the way she looks at me says she understands that, too. I wish she didn’t. I don’t need this.
“Do you want to hear a secret?” Her footsteps are soft as she crosses the room, like she hasn’t broken the habit of treading lightly around here yet. “I’ve been forcing myself to come in here for at least a few minutes every day.”
She stops in front of the desk and places her palms on the surface, trembling like a scared rabbit who wants to run. Her breath is shaky, too, uneven, but she stays put. “I avoided it for so long. Always afraid. I suppose I still am.”
She laughs to herself before turning her head to look at me. “It gets a little easier every time. That’s the only way to get through it. A little bit at a time.”
Frowning, she skims her hip with her hand, where the brand sits, hidden under her dress. “Some things can’t be forgotten, no matter how hard a person tries. Other things, we can control. That’s what I’m trying to do. That’s what I wish you would do for your own sake.”
She smiles and shrugs. “Wow, I think that’s the most I’ve ever said at one time in this house. Listen to me, going on and on.”
“You don’t have to apologize. I… I’m glad.” The words damn near choke me, but I mean them. “It’s good to hear your voice.”
She glows when she smiles. “Thank you.”
What is she thanking me for? Encouraging her… or freeing her?
She tips her head toward the doorway. “Let’s go. Dinner is getting cold. And you look like you need to eat.”
She still feels more like a mom, and in my mind, she will always be my mother. Even if she isn’t technically my birth mother. Still a mom, too. Just not my mom. The ugly reminder follows me into the dining room, where the conversation goes dead when I enter.
“Don’t let me interrupt.” I drop into my chair and look over the feast someone arranged while we’d been gone. Strange but I do have an appetite all of a sudden. I can’t remember the last time I ate an actual meal. Wanted to eat an actual meal.
I’m cutting into a piece of beef with my mouth watering when Saint sighs softly, leaning toward Calder. “I hope she’s okay,” she murmurs.
Calder leans in to kiss her forehead. I swear, I barely recognize him anymore. “I’m sure she’s fine.”
The skin on the back of my neck prickles. Intuition tells me something is deeply wrong. “What’s wrong?” I can’t help it. If it’s about Allie, I need to know.
Saint’s face falls. “Allie.” She says “Allie” like she wishes she never opened her mouth. “She had to go to a surprise dinner with her fiancé in Billings. She and her mom just started driving home.”
Her fiancé. The guy she thinks is actually good enough for her. She’s still going through with the wedding? Despite her excuses. Like there’s anything unique about a rich girl marrying a rich guy who the rest of the world thinks is worthy of her.