Total pages in book: 28
Estimated words: 26537 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 133(@200wpm)___ 106(@250wpm)___ 88(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 26537 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 133(@200wpm)___ 106(@250wpm)___ 88(@300wpm)
Emma shrugs.
“I don’t know. I mean, one thing is that Rick’s always been a doctor, and that means he has no time. It’s almost like he already has a wife, which is his job, and you know he was ensnared in a custody battle with my mom for years. So there’s that too. But yeah, I think my dad wanted to be a real dad, and tried to find a suitable partner for a really long time. But somewhere along the way, I think he gave up and started to use Sweet Lies to meet his sexual needs. Pretty sad, huh?”
I stare at my blonde buddy.
“It is sad. But it doesn’t excuse what he did. I mean, a placebo? Knocking me up without my consent?”
Emma immediately holds up her hands, her expression apologetic.
“It doesn’t excuse his actions at all. I just think ... well, you should talk to him, Jenna. I mean, do you want the baby? Do you want to be with my dad?”
I think for a moment.
“I’m not sure,” is my truthful reply. “I love babies, and I love children. But after what Rick’s done, how can I ever trust him again?”
Emma nods, her expression careful.
“Yeah, that’s a good point. I don’t know, Jen. Of course, I want you to be my stepmom. Is that weird to say?” she says, perking up for a moment with a playful smile. “Not that you’d be a maternal figure to me at all, but I think it’d be cool if you stayed with my dad and had a cute baby. Not that I’m biased, of course, but I’m just throwing things out there.”
I smile a little in return.
“I know,” I say in a soft voice. “But Rick betrayed me in the worst of ways, and I might never be able to get over that. I hurt so much right now that my stomach literally acts up, and it’s difficult to sleep.”
My friend looks empathetic, and nods.
“And I don’t blame you, girlfriend. Not one bit. I totally get it, and I feel what you’re going through. But what are you going to do?”
Now, it’s my turn to look away. I stare out the window of her dorm and blink hotly, tears threatening to make an appearance. My heart contracts painfully for the umpteenth time because I’ve been betrayed, and my heart literally hurts because of Rick’s actions. Of course, Emma’s background info on her dad is compelling, and gives context to the choices he made. But still, what my lover did is one hundred percent wrong, and I can’t just let it go because what would that make me? A doormat. A wimp. A loser, full stop.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” I say in a soft voice, watching as students make their way down the path outside. “But I can’t wait forever.” After all, my child is already gestating and my heart expands whenever I think of him or her. But how can we have any kind of a happy future when I can’t trust the father of my baby?
11
Rick
I look out the window of my home office. It’s been a punishing couple of weeks. Jenna moved back into her dorm, and I haven’t seen her since. One day, the curvy girl was here, and the next, she was gone.
I haven’t gotten over it either. My bed is cold and silent. The house feels haunted almost, with too-big rooms and echoes that didn’t seem to exist before. Plus, I’ve lost all energy. Sure, I go to work each morning and continue producing in the way the hospital expects. But my heart’s not in it because I’ve lost the thing most important to me: Jenna.
My mind drifts randomly, unable to help itself. What is the curvy girl doing right now? Is she okay? Eating healthy, and sleeping well? Is she wearing a loose smock to hide her pregnancy, or did she already terminate? My gut twists on itself and sour bile comes up the back of my throat because it would destroy me if she did. My heart races and a cold sweat breaks out on my brow as I grip the arms of my chair. I can’t lose the opportunity to have another child. I can’t.
She wouldn’t do that, the voice in my mind whispers reassuringly. This is Jenna we’re talking about. A loving, caring young woman who would never throw the gift of a baby away. Or would she? Suddenly, I feel nauseous again and slump in my chair.
But then there’s a knock on the door, and I force myself to shake off the depression by inhaling deeply through my nose and concentrating my thoughts. Emma’s stopping by for lunch today, and I need to get it together. I don’t want to saddle my daughter with my problems because it’s inappropriate. Emma is young and carefree. She’s pre-med and busy as shit, but she’s also twenty years old and should be living life to the max without being burdened with the problems of her dear old dad.