Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 80982 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 405(@200wpm)___ 324(@250wpm)___ 270(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80982 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 405(@200wpm)___ 324(@250wpm)___ 270(@300wpm)
It wasn’t fair. Not to Emily. Not to Jameson. Not to me. Not to anybody.
I crouched down and rested my palm on the headstone, using it to brace myself as I told her, “I kept thinking if I hurt enough… if I carried enough guilt, that maybe it would prove something… that I’d loved you enough, but all it did was keep me stuck back on that bank with both of you in my arms.”
Saying it out loud made it feel real, like I could finally stop lying to myself. The wind picked up, and the clouds shifted overhead. And for the first time in years, I let myself say the thing that had been clawing at me for weeks.
“I met someone, Em. I didn’t go looking for her… Didn’t mean for it to happen, but it did all the same.” I ran my hand down my face. “She’s really something. A librarian of all things. She has two boys and a smile that’s impossible to ignore. She isn’t afraid to call me on my bullshit.”
I let out a deep breath and rose to my feet. “You’d like her.”
I thought back to that moment on the porch and the uncertainty in her eyes when she told me to be sure. She wasn’t sure I had it in me to try. I wasn’t so sure myself. But I’d spent the past three days driving all over hell’s half acre, and I’d done a lot of thinking.
And that thinking had led me here.
A place I hadn’t been to in years, but this was something I needed to do. I needed to do it for a long time. My voice was strained as I whispered, “I can’t keep doing this… I’ve punished myself long enough.”
The words barely made it out because admitting it felt like I was betraying her and freedom all at once. I glanced back down at their headstones and sighed, “I’m tired of being alone, Em. I wish to hell things hadn’t happened the way they did. You gotta know that. You gotta know that I’ll never stop missing you, or him. You’ll forever be a part of me, and she knows that and she’s okay with it.””
The thought brought a slight smile to my face because I knew what a statement like that would mean to Emily. “Yeah, I know. I told you you’d like her. She’s a good one, Em. And if she’ll still have me, I’m gonna take a chance. I really hope you’re good with that. I really do. I love you, Em. Love him, too. Always have and always will.”
I was still standing at the grave when I heard the low rumble of a motorcycle drawing closer. I’d know that sound anywhere. It was one I’d heard for years, and there weren’t enough miles on the planet to make me forget it. I shook my head and muttered, “Christ.”
There was only one man who rode like he had nothing to prove and nowhere to be, so it was no surprise when I turned and found Stone staring back at me. He was eased back on his Harley with his boots planted wide and his hands resting on his thighs. His cut stretched over his thick shoulders, and his hair had gone grayer since the last time I’d seen him, but somehow he still looked exactly the same.
I started over to him, and I couldn’t miss the look of concern on his face. I played it off and scoffed, “Damn. News travels fast… Been in town for less than an hour, and you show up.”
His expression didn’t change. “It’s my job to know where my boys are.”
“You still think of me as one of your boys?”
“Absolutely,” he answered, looking at me like I’d lost my mind for asking such an absurd question. “Always will.”
Stone had always been straight to the point, but his lack of hesitation was surprising. Because somewhere along the way, I’d stopped believing I belonged anywhere, the club included. I glanced down as I replied, “Appreciate that.”
Stone just nodded, like there was no need to say more.
With him, there usually wasn’t.
He gave me a quick once-over. “Looks like you’re holding up alright.”
“I’m still standing… Guess that counts for something.”
“It counts for a lot.” His gaze shifted over my shoulder toward the headstones as he asked, “You good?”
“Yeah.” The wind stirred again, sending leaves rustling somewhere overhead. “I just needed to have a few words with her.”
“Been a long time coming.”
“Yeah, I guess it has.” I motioned my head over to the flowers. “You have something to do with those?”
“Figured you’d want them to have ‘em, especially for Mother’s Day and all.”
Damn. It had been five years, and the man was still looking out for me like he had from the beginning. “Didn’t have to do that.”