Total pages in book: 108
Estimated words: 104869 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 524(@200wpm)___ 419(@250wpm)___ 350(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104869 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 524(@200wpm)___ 419(@250wpm)___ 350(@300wpm)
He stepped into her space, crowding her, but she didn’t mind. She liked his heat, the warm spice of his scent. He tilted her face upward with his thumb and index finger.
“Cons,” he whispered, lowering his face enough for her to feel the wash of his warm breath on her skin. Her flesh pebbled and her breathing quickened. “One, you’d have to share your precious space with me.”
Kenny had always been adamant that he never stay over. Had always preferred no intimacy or cuddling after sex. Not wanting to form an attachment to this dangerously compelling man.
“Two…” His lips were now hovering a hairsbreadth from hers. “People would actually have to know that we’re together.”
They’d been sleeping together for the last four months with nobody the wiser that they had more than a passing acquaintance with each other. Another one of Kenny’s stipulations. One he’d never been happy about.
“Three…” He dropped the sweetest of kisses on her mouth and she moaned softly, winding her arms around his neck before she could stop herself. He grinned at the response. “You’re going to have to acknowledge that vulnerability isn’t weakness. And accept that a marriage is a partnership.”
That was the toughest one. They would have to be a unit. A team. Kenny wasn’t comfortable ceding that much control to someone else. Someone who would have equal say in most aspects of her life, if she were to marry him. From the big decisions like where to live, what to name their child, and how to raise said child, to more mundane things, like picking wall colors, deciding on what to have for dinner, and even what television show to binge next.
Kenny was used to not having to consult anyone when it came to her personal life. The thought of suddenly having not just one but two other people to consider when it came to her decisions was daunting.
But just that morning while she’d been hugging the commode and heaving up the meager contents of her nearly empty stomach, the thought of going through this pregnancy alone had been overwhelming and terrifying.
The prospect of having Smith beside her through it all lifted a weight she hadn’t even known was there from her shoulders. She felt nothing but relief knowing he would be there through it all.
“Four,” she said, finally offering her own contribution to the list. His eyes smiled at her as he waited for her to continue. “My father’s going to want a proper wedding. Something stupidly ostentatious.”
The smile spread to his lips and his eyes crinkled at the corners.
“Of course. You’re his only daughter, after all.” He cupped her face, his warm palms slightly rough against her skin. Kenny had always been fascinated by the callouses on his hands. Why would a corporate attorney have the strong, rough hands of a physical laborer? But she’d never asked about it. Had always assumed it wasn’t her business.
A tiny pang of excitement fluttered in her chest as she acknowledged that if they were to marry, she’d learn all these things about him.
“So…what do you think, Kenna? Are we doing this? Will you marry me?”
Kenny stared at him in wide-eyed silence for a moment and he began to look anxious. She dropped her gaze to the floor and to the forgotten bear which had toppled over to its side.
“Why the teddy bear?” she asked, ignoring his proposal for the moment.
“The ring is for you,” he said, voice shaky and hoarse. “The bear is for our baby.”
Her eyes flooded, while her nose and throat burned with the tears she determinedly kept at bay.
Well then.
How was she supposed to say no to that?
Kenny jumped when the strident back-and-forth calls of a pair of hadedas flying overhead jarred her back to the present. She was sitting on the rocking chair, the big teddy bear on the floor in front of her. She imagined she could see a judgmental, disapproving gleam in its beady eyes.
She buried her face in her hands.
Oh God.
She wasn’t sure what to do, where to go, whom to speak to. The panic and desperation tearing up her insides were starting to physically manifest in short, panicked breaths, and she curled a fist against her chest as she recognized the first signs of an impending panic attack. Something she hadn’t experienced since her late teens.
No, please.
She folded her arms tightly around herself and tried to stave off the inevitable. She had to get it together. She had to figure this out.
And fix it.
Chapter
Four
Christmas at Gideon and Beth’s was becoming a family tradition. One that Kenny usually enjoyed, even though it could get somewhat overwhelming at times with so many people crowded into the tiny house.
She’d come alone and sensed her family’s concern, even though they didn’t probe.
Yet.
Beth and Gideon’s closest friends were in attendance and her family would respect Kenny’s privacy until there were only Hawthornes present. Which, quite frankly, made Kenny eager to get out of there before everybody else.