Total pages in book: 108
Estimated words: 104869 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 524(@200wpm)___ 419(@250wpm)___ 350(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104869 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 524(@200wpm)___ 419(@250wpm)___ 350(@300wpm)
She wasn’t ready to answer their questions. Not when she wasn’t sure of the answers. She hadn’t seen or heard from Smith since he’d walked out a week ago. Her calls went straight to voice mail and her texts were left on read.
She knew where he was, of course. Tina’s personal and business Instagram accounts were full of pictures of her twins being doted on by their uncle Smith. He looked so happy and relaxed in those images. So unlike the strained and tense man he’d become the last few months with Kenny.
A heavy arm dropped around her shoulders and she was pulled against Gideon’s chest for an affectionate hug.
“You look sad, Kenny,” he breathed into her ear, his voice gruff with concern. “What has that fucker done to you?”
“Nothing,” she replied, not even pretending to misunderstand. “He’s just spending this holiday with his family is all. He missed the twins’ first Christmas and wanted to be there for this one. And you all should stop criticizing him. He doesn’t deserve it. He’s a good man.”
Smith had only ever wanted what was best for her. She hadn’t really appreciated that fact or believed in him until it was too late.
“He’s making you miserable,” Gideon told her, his voice going cold and Kenny stepped out of his hold to look into his angry and concerned gaze.
“Honestly, Gideon? I’ve been making myself miserable, and Smith too. And I don’t really know how to…”
Her brow furrowed as she found herself unable to finish that sentence.
How to what?
Make him love me?
Fix my marriage?
Be happy?
All of those and more applied.
Her and Smith’s problems seemed irreconcilable. And Kenny wasn’t sure why she still felt the need to fight for them when, essentially, their marriage had amounted to nothing real and nothing substantial.
The one thing she could salvage from the wreckage of her marriage was her pride and then move on with dignity. And perhaps that process began with admitting to those who loved her that she was not okay. That she hadn’t been okay for a long time. That her marriage was over and her husband had left her.
She didn’t have to feel like a failure because of it. She was human and nobody here judged her.
She stared up into Gideon’s concerned eyes and then swept a glance around the overcrowded living room. Everybody was laughing, talking over each other, having a wonderful time. She couldn’t tell them now. It would be unfair to throw such a damper on the festivities.
“Don’t really know how to what, Kenny?” Gideon prompted gently, the affectionate warmth in his gaze nearly undoing her resolve of just a moment ago.
Not now, she reminded herself sternly. At least not while Gideon and Beth’s friends were present. This was too personal, too raw to confess in front of people who were strangers to her.
She forced a smile and shook her head.
“Sorry, I lost my train of thought,” she said, ending with a wholly unconvincing chuckle.
“Ke—”
“Gideon.” Beth joined them, looking slightly frazzled. “We’re out of milk. I can’t make the béchamel without milk. And no cauliflower gratin without béchamel.”
“I can pop out to the sto—”
“No time,” Beth sounded a little panicked. Which was unusual for her. The woman was one of the most capable people Kenny knew. “Everything’s done. The white sauce is the last component.”
“Auntie Naz?” Gideon asked, his voice exuding calm, which seemed to ease Beth’s frayed nerves.
“Please,” Beth all but begged.
“I’m on it,” he promised.
“Thank you.” Beth wound her arms around Gideon’s waist and gave him a brief, fierce hug and he planted a loving kiss on her flushed cheek.
“We’ll continue this discussion later, okay?” he promised Kenny over the top of Beth’s head. “Right now I have to borrow some milk from the neighbor or Christmas will be ruined.”
“Hardly ruined,” Beth corrected, her usual confidence creeping back into her voice. “It will still be an epic lunch, even without the béchamel.”
“How could it be anything else, when you cooked it, Lizzy-Bit?” Gideon’s voice held a wry, teasing note.
“Damned straight,” Beth agreed and gave him a little shove toward the front door and then a cheeky spank on his butt. “But it’ll be perfection with that sauce. Now please go and find me some milk.”
He gave his wife a cocky salute.
“What would you do without me, Lizzy?” he asked as he exited the house and Beth shook her head with an adoring little smile, before suddenly remembering Kenny’s presence.
“I’m so sorry, Kenny,” the woman apologized. “I didn’t mean to interrupt your conversation. It looked serious.”
“Oh no, it wasn’t. I was merely telling Gideon that Smith is spending Christmas with his sister.”
“Of course,” Beth said with a warm smile. “Tina must be thrilled to have him there. I know she was a little gutted that he missed the twins’ first Christmas last year.”