Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 93425 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 467(@200wpm)___ 374(@250wpm)___ 311(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 93425 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 467(@200wpm)___ 374(@250wpm)___ 311(@300wpm)
“I love you, Daddy.”
“I love you, too, my little Birdie.”
By the time Sadie and Birdie showed up to Bianco’s, I was a wreck. Unable to concentrate, my being here wasn’t even helpful to anyone. I kept giving wrong directions, and the managerial candidate I was training probably thought I was on drugs.
Sadie waved over to me as she and Birdie were seated by the hostess at a table close to one of the fireplaces. My heart was practically bursting from my chest as I looked at them—my two girls. They were done up like they were about to attend a freaking ball. Sadie’s blonde hair was tied up into a bun, exposing her elegant neck. I’d never seen it like that before. Even as fucked-up as I was tonight, I imagined sinking my teeth into her skin.
And Birdie. My daughter looked adorable. Her hair was done exactly the same as Sadie’s—except she had a little tiara on. Sadie wore a long black evening gown while Birdie donned a purple dress with a frilly hem.
“Look at you beautiful ladies. You weren’t kidding when you said Sadie was gonna get you all dressed up.”
“Sometimes a lady needs to live like the princess she is.” Sadie winked at Birdie.
“Don’t we look pretty, Daddy?”
“You’d better put a napkin over that beautiful dress, Birdie. I know how messy you normally get when you’re eating your Bolognese.”
I took a deep breath in. The anxiety in my chest was starting to suddenly build again. Anytime I would think about the envelope that was sitting way in the back of my closet in a box I kept old CDs in, I freaked. I hadn’t opened it. I just hadn’t been ready. Not only that, the more I thought about it, the more I realized it was a major violation of Sadie’s privacy. I still had no idea what to do. But this was eating away at me, and I knew I couldn’t last like this for very long.
As I stood there ruminating in front of my girlfriend and daughter, I was apparently doing a horrible job of hiding my continuous panic.
A look of concern crossed Sadie’s face. “Seb, are you okay?”
I blinked several times. “You know . . . I haven’t been feeling well all day.”
Not a lie.
I pulled out a chair and sat down with them, downing the water that had been placed in front of Sadie.
Sadie put her hand on mine. “It’s stress. You’ve been so worried about the staffing shortage here. I know it’s been getting to you.”
“Yeah. That’s probably it.” I placed my other hand over hers and squeezed it, forcing a smile to ease her worry.
She felt my forehead. “You’re actually freezing. I don’t think you have a fever.”
Birdie pouted. “Daddy, can you stop working and just eat with us? I bet you’ll feel better after a big bowl of Birdie’s Pasta Bolognese.”
I needed to get my shit together. I needed to sit down and have a normal meal with them and quietly figure out how to handle the situation without giving myself away.
Get your shit together.
“You know what? I think that might be just the medicine I need. Let me go put the orders in.” I turned to Sadie. “What do you want, baby?”
She looked over at Birdie and smiled. “Why don’t we make it a Bolognese triplicate.”
I nodded. “Three Birdie’s Pasta Bologneses coming right up.”
As I retreated to the kitchen to put the order in, I inhaled deeply, relishing the break from having to look Sadie in the eyes. As I stood there amid the chaos of the kitchen, listening to the clanking sounds of pans, watching the steam emanate from the stove, all the sounds became amplified. Even the chopping of the salad felt like a banging inside my head. It became clearer and clearer by the second that I couldn’t handle this alone. My fear wasn’t about the end result of that DNA test. It was about losing Sadie for what I had done, going behind her back and stealing her things. I knew I needed to tell her before I ever opened that envelope. The choice wasn’t mine. It was Sadie’s. It was all hers.
Wiping my brow, I took a deep breath in and returned to the table.
“Dinner should be ready shortly.” I smiled, looking between them.
“Okay.” Sadie reached across the table and took my hand, then reached out and offered her other one to my daughter. “Birdie, honey, I want to talk to you about something.”
Birdie placed her hand into Sadie’s. “Are you going to tell me we can’t have dessert? Because I really can’t stop thinking about these rainbow cookies they make here. They’re so soft with some kind of jam in the middle, and the entire outside is made of chocolate. I was going to ask if we could have them before dinner, but I figured Dad would say no.”