Total pages in book: 163
Estimated words: 150878 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 754(@200wpm)___ 604(@250wpm)___ 503(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 150878 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 754(@200wpm)___ 604(@250wpm)___ 503(@300wpm)
“Maybe not, but what else do I have?”
“You have the opportunity to earn grace every day by loving well and living with honor, and yes, by tending the earth too and rebuilding what has been destroyed. By doing your part to help a community who could use your labor and your knowledge. Perhaps you don’t see the importance of those roles?” She paused but didn’t wait for me to answer. “But beyond any of that, it sounds like you have Emily.”
Emily. Just hearing her name made my heart twist with longing. “We were only meant to be temporary.”
I looked away but again felt her stare. “Is it only that you believe you’re not worthy of Emily?” she asked. “Is it really redemption you’re seeking? Or is it love you’re running from?”
I felt a soft clunk inside me. “What?”
She tightened her fingers around my hand. “It’s scary, I understand. You lost so much, everything that you held dear and true. Your past and your future. It was all so suddenly gone. It’s terrifying to put yourself in a position where that might happen again. To lay your heart on the line must seem like the riskiest thing you could ever do after the rug was swept out from under you once before. Perhaps it’s easier to focus on your guilt, rather than your fear.”
I sighed. Okay, she was right. I could admit that. The thought of handing my heart to Emily had me quaking. I could stare down the barrel of a gun, but I couldn’t bear the thought of her looking at me with revulsion someday and walking out the door. “Even if I stay, what if Emily eventually decides she made a mistake? We went on this intense journey where we became close. We bonded. That was bound to happen, I guess. But what about some ordinary Tuesday when she looks over at me and realizes how much better she could have done?” What if she takes her love and leaves?
“I can’t answer all these questions for you, sweetheart. I wish I could. But you’re going to have to come to the answers inside yourself because that’s the only place the truth exists. What I will say is this—you have a legacy, Tuck. That didn’t go away because your mom died, or your father sold this land. A legacy is everlasting. You forgot that for a while. I hope you remember.”
And then she gave my hand one last squeeze, stood, and went back inside, leaving me alone under the stars.
forty-two
Emily
Day Twenty
The tall wrought iron gate had presumably once been operated by a security guard who sat inside a small box and pushed buttons to open and close it. Now, however, it was manned by two large men both wearing camo and with rifles in hand. They nodded at Leon when we arrived in front of it and pulled the bolt before swinging it open. My gaze lingered on one of them. He looked familiar. A stunt man from LA, I thought. Hadn’t he worked on one of Charlie’s movies? It made sense, I supposed, as Leon had told me he lined up the security detail here in exchange for residency.
The street before us wound upward, those solar lights brighter now that the sun had sunk lower in the sky. They twinkled everywhere, lighting the way forward and, for a brief moment, I dared to dream that this lovely place would come to feel like home.
The only house I could see from this vantage point was the side of a white mansion a little ways up the hill, half of it disappearing around the turn. But I knew there were more beyond, with gardens and swimming pools and henhouses and all the various features and amenities being used to keep this community safe and fed. The foliage around us was lush and fragrant, palm trees rising into the dusky sky. “It really is as gorgeous as you described, Leon,” Layne said, her neck bent as she gazed up the hill.
“Wait until you see the rest,” he said with a sideways smile.
We walked toward what looked like a gatehouse and when Leon knocked, a young man exited. “Hi, Leon.”
“Hi, Asher.” He gestured back toward us. “This is Emily and Layne.”
“Welcome,” Asher said before looking back at Leon. “Was that your final trip?” There was something in Asher’s tone I couldn’t quite discern. A note of caution, perhaps? Nervousness? It was hard to say, and I was too physically and emotionally exhausted to think much about it anyway.
“Yes,” Leon said. “It’s too dangerous to travel into Los Angeles now.”
Asher gestured for us to follow. There were two dirt bikes sitting off to the side and Asher got on one and Leon mounted the other. “Your chariots await,” Leon said. I smiled weakly.
“We’ll go slow enough that you won’t need a helmet,” Asher said. “Just hold on.”