Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 115577 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 578(@200wpm)___ 462(@250wpm)___ 385(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 115577 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 578(@200wpm)___ 462(@250wpm)___ 385(@300wpm)
“All right, all right, I get it. You think I’m dumb.” I grabbed the back of my neck. “Can we maybe lay off on the razzing for a bit? I could use some understanding from my sister.”
Which I normally would be happy to provide, but in this case, I do not understand.
I frowned at her. “Ginny… I can’t risk my position with the team. No matter how much I love her.”
The words tumbled out of me, and Ginny’s eyes widened just a fraction.
You love her?
My throat was thick when I nodded. “I do. God, I love her so much…” My heart squeezed painfully. “But I love you, too. And Mom and Dad. And maybe one day things will be easier for me and Emily.” If she’ll wait, I thought, but didn’t say out loud. “But right now, it’s just…”
Do not say impossible.
“But it is.”
Ginny sighed, her eyes tracking up to the ceiling before she pinned me with a gaze that looked almost… annoyed?
You took the wrong lesson from all of this.
“Gin—”
I’m okay. Look at me.
She waited until I did.
I’m okay. But one day, I won’t be.
Tears stung my nose, my eyes, my throat wobbling. “Ginny.”
It’s the truth. And newsflash, but you don’t get to live forever, either. None of us do.
My chest burned. “I hate this for you,” I admitted, voice croaky and raw. “It kills me, Gin. I love you and I don’t want to see you hurting.”
Ginny’s expression softened. I’m okay.
She paused, thinking.
We’re not all handed the same cards in this life. It’s not always fair. But it’s the one we’ve got. And I love you, too, big brother, I do, but I’m so mad at you right now.
“Why?”
You did not break up with her for me or for football. You broke up with her because you were scared.
My heart stuttered in my chest before kicking back with force.
You’re scared of choosing yourself after a lifetime of convincing yourself you’re not allowed to. Stop using me as the reason you stay unhappy.
I knew it was taking so much effort for her to talk to me even this much that she wasn’t going to beat around the bush. I wasn’t going to get some flowery speech from her.
She was just going to let me have it — brutal and honest, like she always was.
“Maybe you’re right,” I conceded. “I am scared. But it’s more than that. I literally can’t—”
Stop.
Ginny rolled her eyes, using her device feverishly now.
Mom, Dad, and I are okay. We are a family, Braden. I know how much you do for us, how you provide for us, but it doesn’t have to be all on you. We lean on each other, yes, but we do not need your sacrifice. Do you think if you hadn’t gone pro we wouldn’t have figured it out? We always do.
My chest tightened.
She was right.
I hated that I knew it all along, but she was right. Of course, that money I brought in made things easier. But there were always going to be other ways to make ends meet if we had to. I’d majored in business. I had backup plans. Mom and Dad could have applied for financial help. We would have found a way.
When did I put it all on me to save us?
Ginny kept typing.
And do you really think they are going to fire you for being with Emily if you tell them the truth? That you love her?
She raised a brow, waiting.
“They could,” I argued, but it sounded weaker now. “They warned us. They said if it happened again, someone could lose their job.”
Ginny didn’t even blink before she started typing again.
Could is not the same as would.
“But could is still a possibility. They could cut me,” I said, my thoughts picking up speed now that I’d finally said them out loud. “If they decide I violated conduct policy, if they think I’m a distraction, if this becomes some PR nightmare— They could pull my guarantees. Release me. And if they do, that shit follows me. Every team talks. Every front office hears some version of it. They don’t hear I fell in love. They hear liability. Distraction. Bad judgment.” I dragged a hand down my face. “And if Emily gets caught in the fallout, too? If she loses everything she worked for because of me?”
The room went still after that, the only sound the faint mechanical hum of Ginny’s device as she typed.
So, you are making decisions based on the worst thing that might happen, not the most likely thing that will.
The words impaled me like a bullet.
That is fear, Braden. Not logic.
I exhaled hard through my nose, but I couldn’t argue with that, either.
Because she wasn’t wrong. I had been dressing fear up as responsibility for so long, I wasn’t sure I remembered the difference anymore.