Total pages in book: 133
Estimated words: 128156 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 641(@200wpm)___ 513(@250wpm)___ 427(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 128156 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 641(@200wpm)___ 513(@250wpm)___ 427(@300wpm)
“What?”
He nods, eyes scanning my face. “You knew I couldn’t afford to come into town for your last season, and I know how hard that was for you, just like I know how hard it was for me. That would have been another one of those games that I couldn’t be there for, but then I got a call from a man named Grant. He had a ticket for me, plane ticket too, and the hotel was already arranged. He said Paige told him how much it meant to me, that she talked about you all the time and your big day, and he just wanted to know if I would like to be there.
“I thought it was strange at first, tried to refuse the offer, but at the end of the day it got me to you. So I swallowed my pride and I came.”
I stare at him, blinking, the words hitting me like a sucker punch. “What?”
“Yeah.” My dad nods slowly. “That was all her grandfather.”
I want to scream, to throw this plate across the room and tug my hair but instead I just stare at my dad, confused.
Why the hell would he do that?
“I don’t know why he would do that, Dad, but he’s probably going to ask us for something because of it,” I mutter under my breath, the bitterness plain as day.
“Maybe,” my dad agrees. “Or maybe he means well but doesn’t know how to go about it because money is what makes his world go ’round. Maybe he knows no other way.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
He shrugs a shoulder. “Don’t know. Maybe I was embarrassed, and when you didn’t ask, I just left it alone.”
My eyes close and I shake my head. “Why did this have to happen, Dad? All of it. Any of it. I just wanted to be better than I was, and I was starting to be. With her, I felt like I could… I just felt like more. Like whatever I didn’t understand, the things I’d done, Mom leaving and destroying more than she had to, getting hurt and letting go of football, none of it matters anymore, not in the same way that made me feel like I couldn’t breathe anyway. Because Paige understood me. She saw me. She knew what I was, so it didn’t matter that I didn’t. So long as she did.”
My chin falls to my chest, and I swallow. “God, I fucked up, didn’t I?” I meet his eyes, the same shade as my own. “I ruined everything by trying to fix everything on my own instead of going to her. We were supposed to be a team and I just…” I sigh, shaking my head.
“I’m not going to sit here and pretend I have the answers for you, kid, because I don’t, but I can tell you how it felt when I found out you had spinal stenosis and didn’t tell me.” I wince but hold his gaze.
“It made me feel like we weren’t as close as I thought we were. It broke my heart, Son. To know that you kept all that in, that you carried the load that was not yours to carry alone. I felt like you didn’t believe in me enough to tell me.”
My throat clogs and I shake my head, eyes burning. “Dad—”
He raises his hand, his smile soft. “That was how I felt. But it only took me an hour or two to understand it for what it is. You being the strong, selfless young man I’ve always known you were.” He tips his head. “Trying to protect your old man any way you could. You didn’t want to tell me because you thought it would have broken me down more than I already was, and you didn’t think that was fair…but you were wrong, Son. It is always one of my biggest moments of pride when I am able to be there for you when you need me. Because that is what a father does. That is what a good man does, Chase. We stand up when no one’s looking. We bleed freely for the ones we love. And you…” He trails off, shaking his head, staring back at me with something that looks a little like awe.
“You flayed yourself open without a second thought.” My jaw trembles, so I clench it harder. “You, my boy, are more of a man than I ever was.”
I blow out a harsh breath, moisture in my eyes as I drop my head back, looking at the ceiling so it doesn’t fall. “I was trying to protect her. I told her I was never going to walk away from her, and I don’t even know if she believes me.” I close my eyes. “I could never. I need her, Dad. I can’t fucking do this life without her. I don’t want to.”