Total pages in book: 133
Estimated words: 128156 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 641(@200wpm)___ 513(@250wpm)___ 427(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 128156 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 641(@200wpm)___ 513(@250wpm)___ 427(@300wpm)
Football might be gone, and I will deal with that. It will be a slow, torturous process with ups and downs but I have her, so I know I’ll be okay in the end.
Maybe I can fix this, salvage some sense of self-worth.
Maybe I can get a job and find a little apartment here in town, work while she finishes school. She could even move in with me instead of staying in the dorm.
If she wants that.
She does, doesn’t she?
Yes, of course she does. You may know nothing, but you know that much.
Paige slips closer, her forehead brushing mine, breath warm against my skin. I close my eyes again, letting the sound of her breathing drown out everything else. For now.
Because whatever happens next, this moment, this morning, and this girl, it’s enough to make me believe that everything will work out.
It has to.
It will.
I will be strong for her, and I will not lose myself because she deserves better and that is what she’s going to get.
It might take a little time to get there but I will.
I’m going to give her my all, the best versions of myself, and not a damn thing less.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Chase
The air is sharp and crisp, but the sun is still warm enough, one of those December days that trick you into thinking winter might hold off just a little longer, even though we know it’s right around the corner.
We’re kicking back on the grassy strip near the playground by Mason and Payton’s family housing unit, scattered in a loose circle while Deaton tosses a bouncy ball between a couple of his day-care buddies. Someone brought a speaker out, and soft music drifts through the air between us.
Mason sighs loudly from where he’s sitting, right between Payton’s legs. She’s got her thumbs working into his shoulders while he leans forward like the weight of the world finally climbed off his back.
“Not saying I wouldn’t rather be out there gearing up for game day this weekend,” he mutters, eyes on Deaton. “But this is so damn nice.”
The guy does look relaxed, maybe for the first time in weeks. His smile is easy, not tight around the edges, the pressure of leading a team to victory a lot for a man to handle, especially for the quarterback and team captain. My chest tugs a little, the words such a simple thing for him to say because, come April, he’ll be swooped up quick, maybe even first round. Brady too, so it’s just a passing comment that doesn’t mean a whole lot.
I’m still trying to figure out how to tell everyone about all the shit happening in my life at once. The boys still talk about me and the game with hope, and I know, deep down, they truly believe what they’re saying. Somehow, Coach has held back the news of my diagnosis, I think because the season has technically ended for us, so the focus is on the playoff teams at the moment. It will circle back around after the championship, though, and I’d hate for everyone to hear it on TV rather than directly from me.
The problem is, once I tell them, they won’t sit here on random afternoons and make comments like he just did. Eggshells will fall around me and they’ll tiptoe, overthinking every word and holding back the ones they think will hurt me somehow.
I don’t want that for them. Their next phase is the NFL and that’s something to be excited about, so I’ve kept quiet about that having been my final season as a football player.
Just like I’ve kept quiet about this being my final semester.
I have a few things in the works that might allow me to stay close, at the very least, but I just have to wait and see how they play out. Once I do, I’ll tell them.
Paige shifts against me, drawing me back in. Her legs are folded beneath her, and she’s leaning slightly into my sides. Her lips meet my cheek, and I wrap my arm around her waist tucking her into my chest, letting my chin fall to her shoulder.
I bury my nose into her neck, just breathing her in, letting myself forget for half a second.
She’s been my rock, so supportive and not in a way where I feel pitied. It was the right decision to tell her, and our relationship feels stronger than ever because of it.
I kiss her skin and she wiggles a bit, my lips curving against her shoulder. I nip at the softness there, and her giggles follow.
I fucking love that sound.
Yeah, okay so maybe I’m being clingy, but she doesn’t seem to mind. Thank god, too, ’cause if I don’t hold on… No, we’re not going to think about that.
“Yo, cool it with the PDA, my man.” Brady kicks my shoe, and I look up. “Some of us are still recovering from seeing you two ‘baking’ in the kitchen this morning.”