Total pages in book: 133
Estimated words: 128156 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 641(@200wpm)___ 513(@250wpm)___ 427(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 128156 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 641(@200wpm)___ 513(@250wpm)___ 427(@300wpm)
A moment later, I hear the door down the hall click shut, Brady’s muffled voice floating from the other side. He’s likely trying to get out here to check on me, but Cam is giving him every reason she can come up with not to let him.
I’ll owe her for that later.
I don’t want to talk to anyone, not until I talk to Paige—but right now I just want her in my arms, hoping her phone wasn’t dead, as it so often is, and she got my text letting her know I was okay.
As I approach her, though, taking in the way she’s clutching the blanket between her pretty fingers and the small frown that shouldn’t be there when she’s asleep, I can’t even bring myself to touch her.
I wish she knew she’s the only thing keeping me tethered right now, that every breath I took after that final whistle was for her.
I didn’t want a way to escape her; I walked away so I didn’t fall apart in front of her. So I didn’t put this…crushing weight of what might be ruined on her shoulders. She would have taken one look at me and tried to take it because she’s just good like that. Kind and loving and so much better than I could ever be—selfless and honest.
And I’m selfish and a liar. A mess destined to dirty up her life.
I knew my friends would do this, that they would take care of one of their own, and not just for me but for her because she is a part of this little family we’ve formed—her as a person all on her own.
Dropping onto my ass on the edge of the couch, I run my knuckles along her cheek, and slowly, that little frown between her brows smooths out.
She takes a deep breath and snuggles into her pillow, and my eyes burn when she lets go of her blanket.
I sit there for I don’t know how long, memorizing the lines of her face and clearing it of the little scowl that comes back every so often.
I’m not sure how long I’ve been here or what time it is, but I figure it must be morning when I hear footsteps padding down the hall. They stop, and I know it’s at the sight of me, so I force myself to look over.
My muscles lock the moment our eyes connect, and the heat of disgrace burns up my neck. Of course, it’s the very last person I want to see, and it has nothing to do with him.
“Hey,” Noah whispers, taking in my position and eyes roaming over me, looking for proof of injury. He finds it on my left hand, still wrapped with the temporary stuff.
My stomach turns in on itself, and I drop my gaze to the carpet.
His sigh is low, and he continues into the room, moving into the kitchen, and a couple minutes later, the smell of coffee fills the space.
I hear a cup settle on the kitchen counter, and then a second one.
My eyes pop up and I see he was waiting for that. He nods, and my ribs constrict at the offer. With one last look at my sleeping angel, I push to my feet, moving to join him.
“I’m not usually one for coffee, but I think we could both use one this morning,” he says, pouring some creamer into both cups and pushing one my way. “Figured you might feel the same today.”
I nod, accepting the warm drink, and when I take a small sip, the heat is surprisingly soothing. I didn’t realize how raw my throat felt. After a moment, my eyes go right back to the couch, my gut twisting.
“She loves you. You know that, right?” he says hesitantly.
I swallow, a raspy “yeah” leaving me.
She hasn’t said it yet, but I know she does. I feel it.
I don’t know why she does, but I’ve never been more grateful for anything, even if I sort of wish she didn’t because if she loves me, then that means I’m the one who holds the power to hurt her, and that’s too much.
“I hurt people,” I don’t mean to whisper. Instantly, I wish I could take it back, my eyes snapping to Noah.
I hate how his expression softens when he meets my gaze. “It’s okay to need time to yourself, Chase. No one faults you for that. I did the same thing.”
A low, almost-bitter laugh leaves me, but it’s all pointed back at myself. “No you didn’t.” I shake my head. “You took a minute for yourself when Ari didn’t know how much she needed you. You never did it when all she needed was you. That’s what I did last night—ran away, let her worry. Left her.”
“Chase—”
“Don’t, man.” I cut him off, shaking my head. “Don’t tell me she understands or it’s okay or any other supportive shit you think I need to hear.” I look into his eyes. “I don’t deserve your friendship, Noah, so I don’t know why you keep trying to give it to me.”