Total pages in book: 38
Estimated words: 36482 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 182(@200wpm)___ 146(@250wpm)___ 122(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 36482 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 182(@200wpm)___ 146(@250wpm)___ 122(@300wpm)
“Because they’re all ravenous,” I grumble. “I don’t even get a proper greeting. They cut straight to the part where they ask if I want my dick sucked or if I’m good at licking pussy.”
This sends him into a fit of laughter that eventually draws a half-grin to my lips.
“For the love of all men, go get your dick sucked, Derek. You’ll feel a helluva lot better. Think of it as a release. Like smoking. But it’s healthier for you.”
“Depends on who’s sucking it.”
“True.” He shakes his head, smirking at me. “Seriously, though. Take some women out. All you do is work and pace around your house.”
“How do you know I pace?”
“Because I know you. You’re a pacer. I’ve seen you do it plenty of times. I’m not peeking in your windows. Relax.”
The thought of Reid as a peeping Tom is amusing and draws another slight smile from me. I’m glad he decided to bombard me with a surprise visit and beer. Apparently, I needed this.
“Any bites yet on your ad?” he asks, changing topics.
“Not any good ones. I had a single mom with three kids reach out. She was probably the best option, but this place isn’t big enough for that many kids. Plus, I didn’t want to accidentally become a father figure to some stranger’s kids. It seemed wrong even though I felt bad for turning her down.”
“Good call.” He nods his head. “Maybe Cole or Travis know of someone.”
“Or the beer bros.”
“You can’t afford to accept beer as payment. Hell, I barely can.”
“Touché.”
“In this market, I’m sure you’ll find someone soon,” Reid says. “Just don’t find them from the dating app.”
The idea of jumping into a longterm relationship again right now is nauseating. I was so fucking unhappy with Casey. Not always, but a good part of the time. If she weren’t such a good person, I’d have left her long ago. But, I kept mucking through the hard times because I felt bad for what it would do to her.
I can’t do that to someone else.
As Reid moves on to prattling about the business his girl Emma runs, I can’t help but let my mind drift to every relationship I’ve had dating back all the way to high school. In each one, I felt like a prop. Just a body to keep the other person warm. I never gushed about any of them, not even Casey, to my friends or family. It was as if I were supposed to feel things for these amazing ladies, like at least an eight out of ten, but most I could pull out was a four or a five. Casey was a six on our best days.
It’s always been a me thing.
Maybe I’m broken inside.
Getting laid was the best part, but it always had so many complicated strings of feelings attached. The dating app might be good for me. Having sex just to get off and nothing more could be exactly what I need.
A small part of me, deep in the recesses of my mind, whispers, “Liar.”
It’s like it knows I want companionship, and secretly ache for it. But, that part of me is confused, because I had that with Casey and it wasn’t enough. We didn’t have that all-consuming love like my parents have for each other. It certainly wasn’t like what Casey has now with Brayden.
I’m definitely broken.
I suppose I should start accepting that fact rather than trying to fix it.
My phone buzzes again. I snatch it up off the table, expecting to see more dating app notifications, but to my relief, it’s an email replying to my ad.
Riko Valentine. College student, single, no kids, non-smoker, and needs a place ASAP. Willing to pay extra to get in.
Could things finally be taking a turn for the better?
Riko
I’m a grown-ass man. I can do whatever I want.
Spoken like a true spoiled brat.
Of course that last part would be said inside my head in my father’s condescending voice. I may be spoiled, and bratty for that matter, but I’m still a grown-ass man who can do whatever he wants. Two things can be true at the same time.
They said I’d regret moving out and would be back within a month.
Fuck that.
I regret nothing. At least not yet. Leaving the Valentine gilded nest is equal parts terrifying and exciting. The guy I texted with seems like a legit dude. Works for UPS or Fed-Ex or some shit. Goes to the gym in his free time. Says he’s kind of boring.
After all the drama back home, maybe I’m due for a little boring.
College was boring and you hated that shit.
This time, the voice inside my head is mine.
I still can’t believe my parents gave me an ultimatum. Go to college and play soccer while still accessing the comforts of home. Or…drop out and get out.