Total pages in book: 38
Estimated words: 36482 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 182(@200wpm)___ 146(@250wpm)___ 122(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 36482 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 182(@200wpm)___ 146(@250wpm)___ 122(@300wpm)
“I’m sorry I’m so irresistible.”
We both laugh and then I tilt my head up to look at him. My mind is a bit messy right now, feeling at odds with galloping heart. Derek is making promises and they feel genuine, but we’ve barely left our bubble. I’m still worried something will happen to mess it all up.
Like maybe if we leave our comfortable space, reality will set in and Derek will change his mind. I can’t be all in with that uncertainty hanging over me. He hasn’t even told his friends about me yet.
Derek distracts me with a kiss and then things heat up. He fumbles between us to palm my dick over my shorts. I’m about to tell him to suck it when he curses. Then, he grabs my arms and physically moves me away from the window.
“What the hell, man?” I grunt when he accidentally bumps me into the corner of the countertop. “You’re manhandling me.”
“Fuck,” he hisses, as he tugs me into the living room. “I…fuck.”
He’s clearly panicked because he keeps jerking his head over his shoulder like the boogeyman is about to pop out and grab his dick.
“Derek?”
His hand scrubs over his face and he shoots me a guilty look. It makes dinner curdle in my gut.
“Derek.” His name comes out sharply this time. “What happened?”
He squeezes his eye shut and then he sighs. “They almost saw us.”
“Who almost saw us? Topher and Eloise?” Now I’m confused as hell.
“No,” he grumbles. “My ex.”
“Is your ex stalking us?” My eyebrows fly to my hairline.
“What? No.” He huffs. “She lives across the pond and goes walking with her family or best friend a lot of evenings.”
I’ve seen people walking around the pond, but didn’t pay much attention to them. Apparently, I should have. His words are a punch to my chest. Come to think of it, he’s pulled me away from the window multiple times now, but it was usually more casually. Today it was rough and frantic. It’s because he’s hiding me from her? And she’s been living here this whole time?
“You forgot to mention your ex is one of our neighbors,” I say icily. “Literally of all the conversations we’ve had, it never came up once?”
Derek features turn stony, and he stiffens. “I didn’t think it was important.”
“For fucking real, Derek? I think it’s important. I told you all the embarrassing shit about my exes. Hell, I even told you which prison one of them is at. But you couldn’t tell me the woman you almost had a baby with lives right fucking there.” I jab in the direction of the kitchen. “I feel lied to.”
He shakes his head and takes a step toward me. “I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad.”
I hold up a hand. “I’m not mad. I’m disappointed.” Great. Now I sound like my damn dad.
“How do I make it right?”
“You lied by omission. I need a minute.”
Of course Derek can’t let me go and follows me up the stairs. When I sit on my bed, he drops down beside me, one of his thick thighs rubbing against mine.
“I’m sorry,” he says again. “I thought maybe it would freak you out.”
I turn to look at him, hating how my stomach twists into a knot and tears threaten. “It does freak me out. I feel blindsided. Now it’s awkward. I’ll never be able to go in the backyard or walk around the pond.”
“No,” he rushes out, taking my hand in his. “I want you to feel good about living here. I’ll introduce you to her one day. She’s not a bad person.”
“If she’s not a bad person then why did you drag me out of the kitchen? Do you still have feelings for her?”
“What? No, Riko. No.”
I shudder at the oily feelings sliding through my veins. “Are you ashamed of me?”
Silence.
Pain lances through my chest.
“I’m not ashamed,” he mumbles, though it sounds like a lie. “I just don’t know how to reveal this part of myself to her and the world.”
“So we’re tiptoeing around everyone else’s feelings?” I choke out. “Got it. I’ll keep a lid on mine then since they’re unimportant.”
“Riko,” Derek hisses, trying to hold onto my hand as I stand.
“I get it,” I blurt. “I’m your dirty little secret. I think I’ll shower now. You should clean up the kitchen.”
He clutches his chest as if my words physically hurt him. Well, his hurt me too. I guess we’re even.
“Please…”
I stop him with a shake of my head. “I said I’m showering. Go, Derek.” Then, because I’m feeling bitter, I say, “Don’t worry. I’ll hide away up here so no one finds out you’re fucking your roommate.”
Even though I’m pissed and about to fucking cry like a little kid, I keep the ring on. I sure hope he was telling the truth about his promise. To love me even when shit gets rough.