Total pages in book: 135
Estimated words: 128211 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 641(@200wpm)___ 513(@250wpm)___ 427(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 128211 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 641(@200wpm)___ 513(@250wpm)___ 427(@300wpm)
I caught myself before the words close quarters could leave my mouth, and Leah and I both groaned before she laughed and threw a rogue bralette at me.
“Is that what happened with you and Finn?”
Her question knocked the laugh from me, my next breath sharp and hot. I swallowed, touching up my makeup in the mirror before I slipped into the room to get dressed. Gisella had scurried off somewhere after the deck team was released for the night. I half-wondered if she was in Finn’s bunk and wholeheartedly decided I did not want to know. But it was just Leah and me in my cabin now, and I wanted to be honest with her.
But I couldn’t — not with the cameras watching.
“Something like that,” I murmured, offering her a sad smile before I disappeared under the bright blue dress I was pulling over my head. When I emerged again, Leah was watching me curiously.
“Do you still have feelings for him?”
I should have immediately answered no and laughed her off at the audacity, but the question made me freeze.
“You do, don’t you,” she said softly. “Oh, honey…”
“It’s fine,” I said quickly, trying to regain my composure as I strapped my wedges on. “Some flames take a while to burn out, right? I just never expected to see him again.”
“And then he shows up here. With Gisella.”
My smile was tight. “Yep.”
“I’m really sorry.”
“It’s fine.”
“For whatever it’s worth, I don’t think you’re one-sided in those feelings. I’ve seen the way Finn looks at you. Maybe you should talk to him… see what he’s thinking.”
My throat was dry as I tried to swallow. I managed to shake my head, keeping my focus on my shoes.
“He’s thinking about Gisella,” I said pointedly, lifting my eyes to hers. “As he should be.”
“Maybe,” she combatted with a shrug. “But like you said, big flames die hard — and who’s to say Gisella isn’t just some sort of rebound?”
“It’s been two years since we split,” I said, throat rough. “I think the rebound period has passed.”
“So, Eli isn’t a distraction for you?”
Shit.
“I’m just saying… there are relationships, and then there are love stories. I don’t know what it was like with you two, but… just being around you in the galley? I know there was chemistry back then because it’s still there now. And it’s not like Gisella is some angel. She made out with my boyfriend the second hers wasn’t around.”
I smirked at her. “So he’s your boyfriend now, huh?”
“Stop trying to change the subject.” She flushed, fighting back a smile before her eyes turned serious on me again. “I mean it, Ember. They’re not married. I’m not sure Gisella is even that serious about them at all. And maybe he feels the same. What if it’s not supposed to be over for you two yet? What if there’s more to your story than what’s already been written?”
There was a knock at the cabin door, and Eli’s deep greeting on the other side.
I stood, checking my reflection one more time in the mirror before I pulled Leah up and into a hug. Her words battled to break through the walls I’d built up around my heart in the two days since Finn had his hands on me, but my forces stood strong. I wanted so badly to play into her what ifs, but when it came to Finn, I’d had enough pain to last a lifetime.
“Our story might’ve been cut short,” I said softly. “But the ending would’ve been the same no matter how long it dragged out.”
I released her, smoothing the hem of my dress with a steady breath.
“So I’m done rereading it,” I added with a small smile. “Time to write something new.”
And with that, I opened the door and let Eli take my hand.
I wished I was drunk.
It would have been so easy to make my wish come true. If I would have ordered a wine with my dinner when Eli ordered his beer, or if I would have taken him up on the shot he suggested we take before we joined the others, or if I would have slammed back a double the moment we got to the bar.
But I didn’t do any of that.
No matter how much I craved the numbness I knew alcohol would bring me, I resisted it. I was wary of the stuff since that night at the beach. Had I been sober, surely I wouldn’t have done what I’d done with Finn. That was what I’d convinced myself. And besides, I had wanted to be clearheaded for my date with Eli — I wanted to be in tune with every emotion so I knew for sure how I felt.
Well, my plan worked.
And I felt absolutely nothing.
Okay, that wasn’t exactly true — it was nice going on the date with Eli. He was gorgeous and funny, and the conversation flowed easily between us. But there wasn’t a spark in sight, not even a little tingle when he kissed me after dinner. He’d smiled against my mouth and swept my hair back and kissed me with the mouth of an expert, and I’d smiled and giggled and willed myself to feel something.