Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 73665 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 368(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73665 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 368(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
The thoughts are bad enough.
The emotions? There’s no chance.
I shouldn’t be feeling anything, but of course, I’m getting hit with everything. It’s been hitting me since long before I left. Long before that kiss in the barn. It’s been hitting me hard since the second Bellatrix walked into my lonely lounge and straight into a life I’d been refusing to admit was an echo of that same yawning emptiness.
Mika’s left eye twitches. It’s very obvious, given how the dark makeup on her eyelids dances. “It would have to be the right job offer.”
“I was going to do some restructuring. And no, not the kind that means firing people,” I quickly add when she shoots me a death glare. “I want to revive the lounge in the hotel downtown and make it a place people would actually want to go to. I’d like to ask her if she would play the piano there however many nights a week she’d like. Or during the day. Whatever fits her schedule. And I’d pay her well.”
“She’ll think she’s putting someone else out of a job.”
“No. I’ll keep the other two people who play. They’re only scheduled for a few hours in the evening. There’s lots of time to do more.”
“Make it classy or make it hipster vibey? Because classy sucks, in my opinion. It should be a place where everyone feels welcome.”
I have to say this about Marlene. She was angry, bitter, spiteful, and mean after the divorce, though she was the one who wanted it, and I gave her everything she asked for. She wanted to punish me, and she did. I just took it without a fight. I still loved her for years until I realized that being a victim wasn’t love, and it wasn’t helping anyone. She hated that I grew a spine, stood up for myself, and stopped allowing her to abuse me. She tried even harder to maneuver Mika away from me, but by then, Mika was eleven, and she had her own phone and could call me whenever she wanted. Somehow, she did want to. Somehow, she turned into this beautiful, thoughtful woman.
I have to say Marlene raised her almost entirely, and she had a big part in that, or maybe it was the private school Mika went to. She had great teachers and good friends. In college, she met Bellatrix. She gravitated to good, loving, and kind people.
I realize it could have very easily gone the other way. Mika might never have spoken to me again. If Mika hadn’t fought for me in her own way, I wouldn’t be sitting here now.
“I want everyone to feel welcome. Would you…would you want to help me out with the planning?”
Mika gasps. “Like redesigning it and bringing in acts and stuff?”
“Whatever you think will make it a vibrant part of downtown and draw people of all ages.”
“Okay. Yes then! Can we put tacos on the menu?”
I gag for real and swallow the bile with difficulty.
“Sorry. Too soon. I know you’re just getting over a nasty flu-cold double-ass kicker. How about fries? And good gravy. As well as chicken pot pie, ice cream cake, loaded baked potatoes, chicken fingers, watermelon, strawberry smoothies, and matcha tea?”
“That’s very specific.”
She grins as she turns onto a street lined with condo complexes. They’re not new, but not that old either. A few of them have iron fencing surrounding the area, but most are open. Some have so many jammed into such a small plot of land that they look like barracks.
Mika heads to the end of the block and turns in at a nice complex with grey two-story buildings that all stand side by side in identical rows and boast blue shutters. They have sweet little porches with white railings and white fencing that separates the scrap of a yard they all get. Each person gets a parking space, with several visitor spots at the front.
“They might also be all of Bellatrix’s favorite foods, just in case you’re ever wondering. Or in case, you know…you want to kiss her again.”
I flatten myself to the seat like we’re about to get slammed into, bracing for impact.
“It’s okay!” Mika assures me, smiling so wide that both her dimples are visible. Her black lipstick looks extra black against her white teeth. She left her color contacts out today, and her eyes sparkle. “I fully approve of you kissing Bellatrix. I know you’re not the kind of man who goes around kissing women unless it means something, which is why I’m going to guess you haven’t done a lot of that over the years.”
“I…I…”
“You deserve to be happy, dad.”
I study her directly. This. This needs to be said. And I should have done it years ago. “I’m sorry, Mika.”
Her smile falls. “Why? What did you do? You’re scaring me with that face. Wait, was the sickness something else? Is it terminal?”