Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 116231 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 581(@200wpm)___ 465(@250wpm)___ 387(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 116231 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 581(@200wpm)___ 465(@250wpm)___ 387(@300wpm)
“Did you tell her how you felt?” Kirby asks me and I again shake my head.
“I’m pretty sure when she said I’m not interested in this or you”—Jaxon looks down, avoiding looking at me—“whatever I have to say isn’t going to change her mind.” I toss my fork down. “So that’s that.” I push away from the table, grabbing my tray and heading over to toss out the food. “I’ll see you guys out there.”
I walk back into the locker room and get ready to head to the ice, where I know I have to shut it out. I’m the first one who knows once you lace up those skates, nothing else matters.
Practice is mind-numbing and when I get off the ice, I avoid talking to anyone. I shower and get the fuck out of there. I get back home and avoid going to my bedroom, instead opting to sit on the couch until I have to go get the kids.
I don’t even have the energy to cook them dinner, instead I order us pizza and we sit watching a movie. Well, they sit watching a movie. I sit contemplating when it changed. When I felt the shift in us. That night I get maybe three hours of sleep, maybe four.
I’m having coffee in the kitchen the next morning as I open my photos and see the pictures we took of the hike. Even though we had no service and no phones were allowed. They allowed us to bring our phones to take pictures. She’s looking straight into the camera, laughing because I said if I saw a cow I would probably eat it raw with how hungry I was. The minute after the picture was taken, she came to me, put her hands on my stomach, over my T-shirt, and kissed my lips. “I would help you,” she whispered to me.
“Daddy,” Nora calls, walking into the kitchen, “you left me alone in your bed.”
“Sorry,” I say, turning and holding out my arms for her. She walks into them, and I pick her up as she sits in my lap and I rub her back, her head on my chest. “What did you want to eat for breakfast?”
“Pancake tacos,” she says and I nod my head.
“Okay.” I kiss the top of her head. “I’ll start that right away.”
The kids must feel my mood, because they are abnormally calm. Westley and Vincent don’t even have one fight over what to watch on television. When Tessa gets here, I walk up the stairs and get dressed. I step in my closet and I see her standing here, wearing just my shirt after I fucked her and she helped me pack. Her hair was all over the place from my hands, and I think that was when I started to fall in love with her.
I get dressed, pushing the memory away, as I slide on my black suit with a white dress shirt. Grabbing a black-and-white tie before sliding my jacket on, I head downstairs. “Okay, I’ll see you guys tonight,” I tell them and they all kiss me goodbye.
I’m on the bike, watching I don’t even know what on television, when Kirby comes up to me. “Hey, man, about tonight.”
I hold up my hand and shake my head. “I don’t want to talk about it. It’ll be fine.”
“Yeah, but—”
“I’ll be fine on the ice,” I assure him. “It’s fine.”
He doesn’t say anything more to me, he just nods his head as he steps away. I get dressed, the locker room is buzzing as it usually is for a Saturday night home game. We play during the week also, but Saturday games just hit differently. I put on my chest protector, tying the sides before sitting and lacing up my skates. “Going on the five-game winning streak,” Jaxon says to the room, “let’s not fuck it up.”
I grab my jersey, putting it on over my head and fixing the sleeves as I walk out of the room and head to the ice for the pregame skate. I grab my stick and see that some of the guys are already on the ice. I skate on and look around the boards to see if the kids are here when I see her first. She is standing two rows behind my kids, her head to the side as she talks to Lexi beside her. Her hand is in front of her mouth so no one can see what she is saying. I don’t even know how I skate up to the glass. “Daddy!” Nora shouts, jumping up and down, and I look over her head to catch Kylie’s eyes.
She avoids looking my way, even when Vincent goes up to her, holding up a puck that Kirby shot over the glass. She smiles at him and laughs at whatever he says as he holds up his hand, and the two of them do their handshake. I swallow down the lump, feeling rage now course through me.