Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 88207 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88207 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
My whole body was shaking uncontrollably. I grabbed my clothes, crying as I dressed in front of him. I wanted to tell him I did like him, that I just wanted to kiss him and maybe next time I could do more, but I couldn’t find my words. I wasn’t in my body anymore. I felt broken, like there was something wrong with me, and that just made the tears flow harder.
“Hey, Seth. Wake up. You’re having a nightmare.”
This voice was different…soothing…caring. My eyes jerked open, the light from the hallway spilling in, and there was Jake, leaning over me.
“Sorry. I didn’t know what to do. I came out to get a drink, and I could hear you crying in your sleep. Are you okay?”
No, no I wasn’t okay.
He cupped my face, brushed my hair back, and I closed my eyes, savoring it, wanting to sink into his touch, but then, what if that made me a tease again?
“Yes,” I said. “Sorry. God, this is so embarrassing. I should go.”
I tried to get out of bed, but Jake shook his head. “You don’t have to go. You can, of course. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, but…do you have them often? Nightmares?”
“Sometimes,” I found myself admitting, though no one knew about them except Jesse, and even he didn’t know why.
“Can I sit?” he asked, and warmth spread through my chest. The question helped. Colton had never asked; he’d manipulated, acted, taken control, and then gotten angry with me when I said no.
“Yes.”
Jake sat on the edge of the bed. “Is there anything I can do?”
Hold me, I wanted to tell him, then again wondered if that meant he would expect more. But Jake was straight, and he wouldn’t want that. And he was kind, a caretaker. Jesse was the only person I trusted to hold me, but I would trust Jake too. Sometimes I needed to feel close to someone, wrapped up in the warmth of someone I knew wouldn’t push me, wouldn’t get angry with me. Jake hadn’t spent time with me only to get something from me the way Colton had. How could I ask him for that, though? He would think I was weak.
“Do you want me to stay with you?”
I bit my lip, nodded. Then…I turned off my brain. He might plan to sit on the edge of the bed the rest of the night, but I hoped not. I scooted over, pulled back the blanket—me, not Jake telling me to. It was my question, not his order, which made all the difference.
He sucked in a sharp breath, then lay beside me. He didn’t have a shirt on, only a pair of basketball shorts. He had hair on his broad chest, and his arms looked so warm, so inviting. I wanted to climb inside them and feel secure, the way I did with Jesse, not how Colton had made me feel.
My whole body began to tremble.
“Am I making you uncomfortable?”
“No!” I rushed out. He’d asked, and that meant the world to me. “Don’t go.”
“I won’t,” he replied softly, and then, “Do you wanna, um…come closer?”
I did, so I moved in. I didn’t know why he was offering to hold me, but I wasn’t going to turn him away. I wanted too much to be enclosed in Jake’s arms. I went, and he wrapped an arm around me. I rested my face against his muscular pec. Settled into his warmth. Inhaled his scent. He didn’t push for more. He didn’t manipulate me. He didn’t try and take control. He just…held me.
Jake pulled the blanket over us, and I snuggled in deeper. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It…it feels nice.” His strong, calloused fingers trailed up and down my arm. I wished I wasn’t wearing a shirt.
I smiled into his skin. It felt more than nice, but I said only, “Yeah, it does.”
“You’re sure it’s okay?”
He couldn’t have asked anything more perfect. “Better than,” I replied, and drifted off into a nightmare-free sleep.
14
Jake
I woke up for the third time that night, unable to believe there was a man curled inside my arms. A sweet, adorable guy who’d had a bad enough dream that he was whimpering in his sleep like a wounded animal. No way could I resist going to him and trying to protect him from whatever was making him so afraid. I had seen that sort of distress before, had felt it myself throughout childhood, but I couldn’t make assumptions that Seth’s fears were even remotely similar. He could’ve been afraid of anything, and I wanted to be there for him. I wanted him to trust me enough to protect him, but that might’ve been asking too much, so for now I’d make him feel as safe as possible by holding him while he slept.
And he undeniably slept. He was even snoring a little, which was cute, and I tried to bite back a chuckle so I didn’t wake him.