Total pages in book: 69
Estimated words: 63842 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 319(@200wpm)___ 255(@250wpm)___ 213(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 63842 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 319(@200wpm)___ 255(@250wpm)___ 213(@300wpm)
I looked up to see Rip standing away from us under a big tree. He leaned with his shoulder against the trunk, his muscled arms crossed over his chest. He reminded me of a silent sentinel, ever watchful, waiting to protect.
After my panic attack, after three years of living in hell, I never thought I’d feel safe with a strange man watching me. But I did. In fact, over the course of the hour or so I spent with Penny, Zelda, and Kira, I found myself glancing Rip’s way to see if he stayed.
When I’d had all I could manage, I stood and brushed off my jeans. The girls said their goodbyes, and I turned to go back inside Haven. Rip moved from his post at the tree and fell into step beside me.
“Are you going to follow me around everywhere?” I didn’t know what I hoped his answer would be.
“Haven’t decided,” he said, matter-of-factly. “I don’t want to crowd you, but I don’t feel right leaving you alone when you’re out of your private space, knowing you have triggers. You should have someone watch over you in case you have another panic attack.”
I blinked up at him, studying him with interest. “You’d follow me around just to make sure I had someone with me if I had a panic attack again?”
He looked confused. “Well, yeah.” He handed me the blanket I’d placed on the fountain’s edge before going to the garden. “Someone has to make sure you have a blanket.”
My eyes misted over, and I had to blink to clear them. One tear slid down my cheek and I ducked my head. “That’s very kind, Rip. You have no idea how much it means to me that you’d offer that kind of help.”
Rip stuck his hands in his pockets when we stopped by my door. “Just tryin’ to be a good person. And I don’t like that you’re not comfortable.” He frowned, looking confused. Or maybe I’d finally lost my mind.
“Thank you, Rip. For taking care of me. I can’t remember the last time someone took that kind of time just to make sure I didn’t lose my mind.”
I looked up at him, and he took a tentative step forward. His brows were drawn in concentration or confusion. I couldn’t tell which. He reached out and brushed a lock of hair off my forehead before snatching his hand back. His cheeks above his beard reddened, and he shoved his hand back in his pocket.
“Sorry.”
“It’s OK. You didn’t hurt me.”
“But I didn’t have permission. I don’t want you to think I’d ever --”
“I don’t!” I cut him off because I didn’t want him thinking I believed he’d hurt me. “You’ve been kind to me and I appreciate it. If you were going to hurt me, you could have just forced your way into my room.”
“And if I did, Knuckles would kill me. Literally. You’re safe here, Jade. If you don’t believe anything else, believe you’re safe here.”
I thought about that for a long moment, studying Rip’s face as I did. Then I nodded slowly. “Yeah. I think I do believe I’m safe here.”
Relief softened his features and I knew I’d said the right thing. “Good. That’s good.” He took a breath and swallowed. “Look, if you need anything and I’m not here, just tell any of the women or the guys checking in. They’ll know how to find me. I can give you my phone number. That way, if you, uh, you know, have a nightmare or something, I can come sit with you.” God, the man looked uncomfortable. Did he feel like he had to offer out of obligation?
“It’s OK,” I said, not really knowing what the right answer was. “I know how to find someone if I get overwhelmed.”
To my surprise, instead of looking relieved, Rip looked almost… disappointed?
“Well, the offer stands if you change your mind.” He gave me a small nod. “Maybe I’ll see you around tomorrow.”
“I’d like that.”
He nodded again, then turned to go.
“Rip.” He stopped and turned back to me. “Thank you. I appreciate you helping me. I don’t know what I’d have done if you hadn’t been there.”
“I’m glad I could help.”
We said our goodbyes again, then I shut the door, locking myself inside. I got the feeling I’d done the wrong thing by not taking his phone number, but I didn’t know if I could ever be comfortable enough with him to actually reach out on my own. The last thing I needed was another man in my life. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
I’d think about it tomorrow. I simply didn’t have enough energy to muster the brain power for big questions. Like why a man I’d just met made me feel so safe I wanted to cling to him and beg him to never let me go.