Total pages in book: 69
Estimated words: 63842 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 319(@200wpm)___ 255(@250wpm)___ 213(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 63842 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 319(@200wpm)___ 255(@250wpm)___ 213(@300wpm)
“I’ve been so scared,” I whispered.
Rip’s hand moved to cup my cheek, his calloused thumb gently wiping away my tears. “I know.”
“I don’t want to be scared anymore.”
“Then we’ll work on that together. One day at a time.”
We. The way he included himself, like it was already decided, like there was no question he’d be part of whatever came next, made warmth bloom inside.
I leaned back into his embrace, resting my head against his shoulder. My eyes drifted shut as exhaustion tugged at me, the emotional release having drained what little energy I had left. Rip adjusted his hold slightly, making sure I was comfortable without letting go.
For the first time in longer than I could remember, I felt hope. Not the desperate, white-knuckled hope that had kept me going during the worst days with Eric. A real hope that I could have a better future.
Whatever came next, whatever I decided to do, I wouldn’t be facing it alone. The realization was both terrifying and exhilarating. Terrifying because relying on someone meant risking betrayal all over again. Exhilarating because Rip had given me no reason to doubt him.
I didn’t know if I was ready to trust that feeling. But nestled in the safety of his arms, I allowed myself to consider the possibility that maybe I could learn how.
Chapter Seven
Jade
The sign above the door to the bar was a skull wearing a motorcycle helmet, hand-painted and slightly uneven on one side. I stared at it for longer than I needed to while Violet held the door open and waited.
“You don’t have to go in,” she said. She wasn’t being kind about it, just stating fact. Violet had that quality. She didn’t soften things unnecessarily, but she also didn’t push. “Hannah thought it might be good for you to get out. See some people. But it’s your call. I will happily walk down Music Row or go to a park or something if you want.”
I knew what Hannah thought. Hannah had said it herself, two days ago over coffee in the Haven kitchen. Did I want to go someplace else? I used to love places like this. When I looked back at Violet, her features softened. “Trust me when I tell you, I get it. You’re healing. But healing in isolation has a ceiling, Jade. At some point you have to let the world back in a little.” God, she was right! She was so fucking right.
“I’m going in,” I said. I put my shoulders back as best I could and opened the door, stepping inside.
The noise hit first, classic rock hammering out of an ancient jukebox somewhere in the back, loud enough to feel in the chest. Then the smell, cigarette smoke and beer and something underneath that was just years of use, of bodies and leather and motor oil worked into the very soul of the place.
I stopped two steps inside the door and pressed my back against the wall without meaning to. I wiped the back of my hand over my upper lip to catch the sweat beading there and made myself take stock of the room to get my bearings.
The long bar to the left had a sticky-looking oak top, every stool occupied. Pool tables in the back and mismatched tables scattered between were mostly full. Voices layered through the music sounded rich and carefree. Laughter. But when somebody dropped a glass, I felt my hands snap into fists at my sides before I forced myself to relax.
I twisted the ring on my right middle finger. I’d picked it up at the donation box at Haven, a plain latex band, a kid’s toy. I’d started wearing it for something to do with my hands. Eric used to comment on my hands. Said they were always doing something useless. I pressed my thumbnail into my palm instead and made myself focus on the room.
“Donation boxes are up at the bar,” Violet said, appearing at my shoulder. Two boxes sat at either end of the oak surface, neatly labeled with the Haven logo on a white printed card, the kind Hannah made on the community printer. “Club’s been running a monthly collection night. Most of these guys match dollar for dollar on what they spend on themselves in here.” She grinned.
Surprisingly, her revelation didn’t surprise me. If I’d learned anything about the men at Kiss of Death, it’s that they played hard, worked hard, and protected those they considered theirs to the death. They’d do whatever they could to encourage everyone they knew to help however they could.
I breathed out through my nose and made myself step away from the wall and follow Violet deeper into the bar.
The crowd wasn’t what I’d call friendly, but it wasn’t exactly hostile. A couple of men glanced at me and glanced away, but nobody stopped to stare. I kept my eyes forward and my shoulders square and told my nervous system to stand down. It didn’t fully listen, but I managed to stop trembling at least. I hated feeling this on edge.