Total pages in book: 69
Estimated words: 63842 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 319(@200wpm)___ 255(@250wpm)___ 213(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 63842 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 319(@200wpm)___ 255(@250wpm)___ 213(@300wpm)
I studied the table in front of me as I heard Mia’s footsteps cross the room. They stopped a few feet away. I didn’t want her to stop near me, but I knew she wouldn’t go away until she’d said what she needed to say.
The silence went on long enough to become its own kind of conversation. Everything I’d done was in that silence. My weakness and Eric’s manipulation and the terrible stupid choices I’d made that had cost me the only real friend I’d ever had.
“Mia.” My voice came out barely above a whisper. I cleared my throat and tried again. “I’m sorry.” I made myself look up at her, because she deserved to see my face when I said it. “I have no defense.”
Mia’s expression didn’t change immediately. Whatever was left of the version of Jade Harper she’d once known had long abandoned me. I had no idea what Mia saw when she looked at me, but I would never diminish my actions or the way they’d hurt her.
She pulled out the chair across from me and sat down. I hadn’t expected that. She didn’t say anything for another moment. Then she exhaled through her nose and said, “Eric knew exactly what he was doing. With both of us.” Her voice was soft. I heard the slight tremble but figured it signaled her anger rather than grief at losing either me or Eric. I’d been just as shitty a friend as he’d been a boyfriend. “I don’t think either of us had a chance.” I opened my mouth, and she held up one hand. “I’m not saying that absolves anything,” she said. “I’m not there yet. I don’t know if I’ll get there.” She paused, looking at the table, then back at me. “But I’ve thought about it. How he operated. He had you convinced that what you were doing was something other than what it was. He was good at that.”
My throat tightened. I wanted to accept her words like a lifeline, let them do the work of explaining away what I’d done, wrap myself in the narrative that I’d been manipulated and therefore wasn’t really responsible. But that wasn’t the truth. Not entirely.
“He did manipulate me,” I said carefully. “But I knew it was wrong, and I did it anyway. He made it easier to do the wrong thing by blackmailing me, but the choice was mine.” My voice cracked on the last word, and I hated the sound of it. I pressed my lips together. “I knew what I was doing to you, and I chose to protect myself over protecting you.”
Mia studied me for a long moment. “You look terrible,” she said finally.
A sound came out of me that surprised us both. A small, involuntary laugh. “Yeah. I know.”
“He did that.”
I wanted to believe her. “Maybe,” I whispered. “Or maybe I did it to myself.”
Mia sat with that, her arms still wrapped around herself, her expression so complicated I couldn’t read her at all. We weren’t OK. We weren’t anywhere near OK. But she was still sitting across from me. I wanted to reach out to her, to have her tell me we’d still be friends, but I knew better. I’d killed anything we had. I’d never forgive myself for hurting Mia the way I had. She’d been the sister I’d always wanted. I’d been too stupid to see through Eric’s lies and manipulations to stick up for either of us.
The common room hummed quietly around us. Then the soft but insistent chime of Haven’s security alarm interrupted our awkward silence.
The overhead lights flashed three times in quick succession, a sign to the hearing impaired. We all knew to go to the “safe room” in the event of the alarm and had practiced it at least once a week since I’d been here. The goal was to get the younger residents used to the sight and sound without being terrified, so they knew what to do and where to go. We might not know if actual danger headed in our direction or if they’d give us the all-clear a few minutes later, but no one hesitated.
I knew the drill. Even if danger stood outside the gate, we’d never know because the guys in the club made sure nothing touched us. And there had been more than one incident where a man had come to intimidate or harm a woman in Haven. No one ever got in. Unfortunately, though, my body already had its own opinion about the situation and reacted accordingly. Every muscle seized. My hands shot out and gripped the edge of the table so hard the wood bit into my palms.
“Jade.” Mia’s voice cut through the noise, sharp and direct. “Look at me.”
I couldn’t. I was focused on the doorway. Waiting for the monster to come through the door. Only, Rip was already there. He filled the entrance, not just with his physical size but with a deliberate intent of keeping anything from getting through him.