Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83612 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83612 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Will shifts slightly, propping himself up on one elbow behind me. I can feel his gaze on my face, searching. “Are you okay?” he asks.
It’s such a simple question. I stare ahead at the pale strip of sunlight creeping higher up the wall. My heart feels too big for my chest, crowded with things I don’t want to name. I want to tell him I’ve never been more okay, and while that’s true, I’m also scared, and the guilt of lying like this with my best friend’s dad is a constant heaviness on my chest.
“Ask me that after coffee,” I say lightly, even though it’s anything but light.
His quiet laugh rumbles against my back, warm and familiar. “Deal.”
But neither of us moves.
Not yet.
Once we leave this bed, we have to go back to just being acquaintances, roommates for the vacation, and we have to pretend like there’s nothing between us. We both want to savor this moment, this connection, for as long as we can. We want to pretend that even beyond the walls of this bedroom, we’re together.
My marriage to Ethan made me good at pretending. However, I never felt for my ex-husband what I feel for the man holding me in his arms, as if I were something precious to him. I loved Ethan. It was a young love that grew and then dissipated very soon after. This… I can’t name it. No, that’s not true. I’m afraid to name it. I think about him all the time. I crave his touch and feel as though I’m starved for his kisses.
Mia starts to babble, and I know my time with him is over. I need to tend to my daughter, put on my game face, and join everyone else. I have to act like my heart’s not invested in this man. Because even though I can’t say the words out loud, I can at least admit them to myself.
“I’ll get her,” he says, pressing his lips to my cheek.
“You don’t have to,” I say, but he’s already climbing out of bed and moving.
“Good morning, sweetheart,” he says, lifting her into his arms. Mia snuggles into him, and he hugs her tightly. “Did you sleep well?” he asks her, going back to the side of the bed he just got out of. He sits with his back propped up against the headboard. Mia lifts her head and smiles when she sees me but makes no move to leave her spot with Will.
“She loves you,” I tell him.
Will’s eyes find mine. He swallows hard, nods, then turns my world upside down when he says, “I love her too. Seems like the Holton ladies have a thing about wrapping me around their little fingers.” He kisses Mia’s head, but his eyes never leave mine.
I blink back tears before forcing my gaze from him to my daughter. “Morning, sweetie.”
“Mommommom,” Mia chatters, and my heart flutters in my chest.
“Come here, you.” I sit up and reach for her. She comes to me with glee. “Mommy loves you,” I tell her, kissing all over her face, before wrapping her into a tight hug. She squirms away from me and moves back to Will. Climbing onto his lap, she kisses him, right on the lips, before dropping to her butt and crawling back to me, doing the same thing. “You’re giving out all the love today, huh?” I ask her, and she just giggles.
“Why don’t you take your time getting ready? I’ll take Mia downstairs and get her some breakfast,” Will offers.
This man is offering so much of himself for us, but I have to start building my wall back up after letting it crumble to the ground last night. “Thank you, but I’ll take her into the shower with me and meet you downstairs. You can shower first.”
He hesitates before nodding. He leans over, kisses Mia’s cheek, and then softly presses his lips to mine. My breath hitches as Mia claps. She reaches for Will, but I pull her into a hug to distract her, or to keep myself from reaching for him, too, as he climbs off the bed, grabs some clothes, and heads for the shower.
Once the door closes, I scramble off the bed, placing Mia on the floor. I quickly slip into a bra, take my hair down from the knot it was in while I slept, only to redo it. I grab Mia and her favorite blanket. I need to put some distance between us, and sitting on that bed, thinking about him naked just behind the door, that’s not what I need. Instead, I softly open the bedroom door, closing it just as quietly, and make my way downstairs.
“Morning,” Landry says with a lazy grin as he feeds Ella her bottle. “Looks like you have an early riser too.”
“I do. I wanted to give Will some privacy to get ready for the day.”