Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83612 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83612 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
I can’t believe it’s already been a year since she came into my life. A whole year of firsts, late nights, sleepy cuddles, tiny giggles, and learning what it really means to love someone with your whole heart.
A year ago, my life looked very different from what it does today. I walked away from a marriage that wasn’t built on honesty or respect, and I stepped into the unknown on my own. It was scary, painful, and overwhelming at times. But somewhere in the middle of all of that, the greatest blessing found its way to me.
Mia.
My daughter didn’t grow under my heart, but she was absolutely meant to be there. The day she came into my life, everything shifted. The hurt, the fear, the uncertainty, it all started to make sense because it led me to her.
The past year hasn’t always been easy, doing it on my own, but it has been the most beautiful, life-changing year I’ve ever known. She gave me a reason to rebuild, to heal, to laugh again, and to believe that something good can come from the hardest chapters.
I learned that it really does take a village, and that it’s okay to ask for help when I need it—or just need a moment to breathe on my own. That took some time, because the guilt of not being everything all at once was suffocating. But I have a great group of friends who helped me see it’s okay.
Watching Mia grow this past year has been the greatest gift. Her smile, her curiosity, her little personality that gets bigger every day, she reminds me constantly that love creates family, not biology.
So, yeah, I’m a little emotional today. Because one year ago, my life was forever changed by a little girl who made me a mom. My daughter saved me in ways she’ll never understand. She was my light in a moment of darkness.
“You okay over there?” Bellamy asks, tapping her hip into mine. “You were somewhere deep in your head.”
“I am.” I smile, a real one, not forced or fake. “I was just thinking about the last year. I can’t believe she’s one already.”
“Time flies,” she says. “They really do grow up too fast.”
“They do. She’s made this last year bearable. I can’t imagine not having that little girl in my life.”
“You’ve been happier,” she says. “You smile more, and you don’t seem as stressed.”
I shrug. “Life is finally balancing out,” I tell her, even though the heaviness of the guilt I carry weighs on my shoulders. I should tell her. We should tell her. Will wants to, but he’s holding off for me. I know it’s wrong, but I’m so scared that I’ll lose both of them. Mia and I need them, all of them, and I don’t know how we’re going to navigate that.
I just need a little more time.
Besides, what if Will changes his mind? Do I think he’s going to? No, I really don’t, and that’s scary, too, because then I have to admit, even just to myself, that I’ve fallen in love with him, and my heart tells me that he loves us, too.
Bellamy wraps her arm around my waist. “I’m glad. You deserve the best,” she says.
I swallow back the lump in my throat. “Thank you. And you and Reid are amazing for letting me have her party here. My place definitely isn’t big enough to house everyone.”
Bellamy waves her hand in the air. “We’re happy to help. That’s what family does. Besides, my niece needed a pool party for her first birthday and not one with a bunch of strangers walking around.” She winks.
“I love you,” I tell her. I do. Bellamy has been my best friend since we were kids, and the thought of losing her causes my chest to ache. But the thought of losing him hurts just as badly.
“I hear this is where the party’s at?”
I don’t have to turn my head to know that it’s him. I didn’t invite him, even though I wanted to. We talked last night, and he agreed that it might not be the best idea. Yet here he is. I turn and smile, acting as if my entire body doesn’t light up at the sound of his voice, to see his smiling face.
“It’s a rager,” I say, chuckling.
“I hope it’s all right that I’m here. Bellamy called this morning and said if I wasn’t busy, I should stop by,” Will says, his tone light.
“I was trying to keep him from working too much. You know the season’s about to start,” Bellamy defends. She walks around the island and gives her dad a side hug. She peers up at him. “You know, now that I think about it, you haven’t seemed as stressed or as focused on work as you usually are,” she tells him.