Total pages in book: 151
Estimated words: 145746 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 729(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 486(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145746 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 729(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 486(@300wpm)
As soon as she’s inside, our eyes meet. She has the decency not to speak. She folds her hands behind her back and leans against the door. We stare at each other until the silence screams all the things we can’t or won’t articulate.
“You got nothing to say?” I ask, my voice scratched through with rage and judgment.
“I…” She stops, gaze falling to the floor and starts again. “I know it looked bad.”
Incredulous laughter rolls out of me and shakes my shoulders, steals the breath from my lungs. I stand because my legs have just about fallen asleep sitting on this damn couch waiting for her to come and say… this?
“Which part do you think looked bad, Vee?” I tilt my head to study her. “His hand up your dress, on your ass? Your tits all out with some stranger in the bathroom like you were ’bout to get fucked up against a wall? Was that the bad part? Am I missing anything?”
“When I came to the studio earlier, I needed… I wanted—”
“So this my fault? Because you show up to my job wearing”—I sweep a hand in her direction and up and down her scantily clad body—“this shit, get on the floor, and pull my dick out, my clients not ten feet away. I was supposed to drop everything and fuck you?”
“I didn’t say—”
“And since I didn’t, you decided to take matters into your own hands and go fuck some guy in a bar? That’s all this meant to you?”
“Monk, no.” She crosses the room and stands in front of me. “This meant… it means… everything to me.”
“Don’t give me that shit.” I shake my head and step back, putting a few much-needed feet between us because she smells like cheap beer and some other dude’s cologne, but I’m still weak enough to want her. “I told you from the beginning. I said be sure. Be sure it can be just me.”
“It can be just you. It is. You’re not listening.”
“’Cause you ain’t saying shit, Vee!” I scream so loud it strains the muscles in my neck. “I told you I don’t do infidelity. I told you about my parents, what my father did to my mom, and you still…”
Hurt clogs my throat and I turn my back on her because my eyes are burning. I won’t give her that. Never again will this woman get that from me. Not my weakness, vulnerability, trust. But, God, it stings. The truth of what she did sinks its claws in me so deep I’m surprised it doesn’t break the skin.
“You still did it,” I finish. “If you wanted to fuck somebody else—”
“I didn’t,” she says, her voice wet with tears now. “I don’t. I would never do that, Monk. I love—”
“Don’t you fucking dare.” I swing around to face her, eyes narrowed in rage. “Don’t you lie to my face when I saw that shit for myself.”
“I’m not lying to you.” She clutches her head in her hands. “I don’t know what’s going on. I drank too much. You know I don’t drink, but I’ve been so stressed out with this project.”
“So every time you’re stressed, I should expect you to flip out and fuck somebody in a bar? Noted.”
“I’m not saying that. Just that there’s been a lot going on. I don’t understand why it’s all affecting me so bad. I’m not making excuses.”
“Sounds like excuses to me. Did you think I’m so in love with you I’d just forgive it, or did you think I’d never find out?”
“I wasn’t thinking.” She looks so helpless and lost it almost softens my fury. “I don’t have an explanation that will make it better.”
“At least we agree on that.”
“Monk, please, just—”
“I watch you while you sleep. Did you know that?” I don’t wait for her response, but forge ahead. “Because you’re so fucking beautiful when you’re asleep, but right now I can’t even remember how you look in my bed. Can’t remember how you look when you come, when you laugh. You erased everything tonight. Every good moment, every memory.”
She closes her eyes, tears carving tracks through the heavy makeup. “Please don’t say that. Don’t say we can’t fix this.”
“Oh, I’m saying it. We can’t fix this. I drew a line—no cheating—and you crossed it, danced all over it.”
“I didn’t cheat,” she whispers.
“Oh, you mean because I got there before he fucked you? If I arrived five minutes later, I would have walked in on you getting pounded into the wall. If I hadn’t called and heard your phone, had just left without knowing you were in that restroom, what would’ve happened, Vee?”
She’s quiet, her eyes tortured. “Please give me another chance, Monk. Give me a chance to explain.”
“No second chances. Not with this. Not with me. I don’t need it explained when it was right in my face.”