Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 121916 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 610(@200wpm)___ 488(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121916 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 610(@200wpm)___ 488(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
We both burst out laughing.
“And ever since, she’s been obsessed with this non-existent song called ‘Spank.’ The supposedly filthy, kinky one she’s forbidden to read.”
“Oooh, this is good.”
“She literally begs me to read it, Savage. But I keep telling her no. It’s too dirty. Too personal. Not appropriate to share with someone who’s merely a friend.”
Savage is laughing his ass off now. “This is amazing. Dangle those non-existent dirty lyrics like a dick-shaped carrot, baby. Get her simmering in her own juices.”
“My thoughts exactly. Well, that and it’s better for her to think I’ve written a dirty song called ‘Spank’ that she’s not allowed to read than to let her read the actual words I wrote about her in a song called ‘Spark.’”
“It’s not something a Doberman would write, I’m assuming?”
“Definitely not. It’s this angsty, pining mess of a confessional, basically.”
“Oh, Kendrick.”
“Whatever.” I wave at the air. “The actual lyrics don’t matter. The important thing is that she’s been obsessed with what she thinks I wrote.” I grin. “So, get this. I found my old lyrics notebook from last year and decided to use it as a decoy.” I crack up. “I left it in the top drawer of my nightstand for her to find on day one, along with some other stuff to get her motor running: handcuffs, a shit-ton of condoms, and the biggest bottle of lube you’ve ever seen in your goddamned life.”
We both cackle with glee.
“Brilliant!”
“And sure enough, just like I knew she would, the kid went straight to snooping for that damned notebook the second I left the room to work out. She found the fake one I’d left for her in record speed, along with all the rest of the stuff!”
“Nice!”
“And, yes, right before she did that, I took off my shirt in front of her before heading into my workout, like you told me to do. Actually, I peeled that shirt off, like I was starring in Magic Mike.”
“Atta boy.”
“I’ve gone shirtless so many times around Ruby this past week, she’s got to be wondering if I own a shirt at this point.” I chuckle. “So, anyway, Ruby found the decoy journal, and then I bounded into the bedroom, right on cue—”
“You were watching her snoop?”
“Of course I was! I had to time it right. So, anyway, I burst in there and snatched it away from her, just in time, like I was freaking out. Except, of course, the lyrics she’s obsessed with weren’t even in there, since it was my old journal.”
Savage cracks up.
“And then, I stood there in front of her, shirtless, going on and on about how hot and dirty the lyrics are, and how I didn’t write down my filthiest fantasies for anyone else to read, and I especially can’t show those thoughts and feelings to someone I’m not fucking.”
“So far, so good.”
“It gets even better, Savage. When Ruby found that decoy journal, she was in the middle of unpacking her stuff. When I burst into my bedroom, a sex toy was on the bed!”
“No way.”
“Yes! I didn’t realize that, at first, not until I was standing right in front of her, chastising her about snooping around for my notebook. But then, holy shit, there it was. This massive, pink dildo-vibrator thing, staring at me.”
“Holy fucking shit.”
I tell him the whole story, and Savage says he would have thought that sexually charged conversation would have led to us fucking, right then and there. Or at least, that night.
“That’s what I thought!” I shout. “Dude, I threw everything at her and the kitchen sink, when I saw that fucking sex toy. I ‘good girled’ and ‘bad girled’ her! And it was working, too. Right after that conversation, when I supposedly started working out again with earbuds in, I pressed my ear to the door and heard a buzzing sound coming out of my closet.”
“Holy fuck, KC.”
“I had to jump into the shower, right then, to whack off, or I was afraid I was going to come in my shorts.”
Savage laughs. “How the hell didn’t that end in you two fucking? I don’t get it.”
“I guess that’s what happens when two people have been best friends for over a decade. That’s a whole lot of history and habits to get past.” I shake my head and exhale. “After my shower, we sat down to eat and watch a show together, and I think, somehow, doing that together flipped a switch that reset our friendship. Suddenly, we became Ruby and Kendrick again, the same as always. And I haven’t been able to duplicate that energy again, no matter what I do.”
“Maybe this is a stupid question, but why not write actual, smutty lyrics for a song called ‘Spank’ in that decoy journal and let her find it again? Reset the clock, baby. Give yourself a do-over of day one.”