Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 121916 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 610(@200wpm)___ 488(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121916 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 610(@200wpm)___ 488(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
“You promise our fling won’t ruin our friendship?” Ruby whispers into my ear, her arms wrapped around my neck. “Please, KC, swear you’ll never hate me. I couldn’t survive losing you as my best friend.”
I squeeze her thighs. “Babe, I swear to you on all things holy, my feelings for you will be the same as they’ve ever been. The same as they always will be. Forever.”
23
RUBY
“When we get to my house,” Kendrick says, “I’m gonna make you come even harder than you did in that laundry room. Multiple times, too.”
We’re in his car, headed back to his house. He’s driving, and I’m his passenger princess.
“There’s no such thing as me coming harder than I did back there,” I reply with a laugh. “And multiple times? Babe, that’s never happened before, so don’t set your sights on that. I appreciate the enthusiasm, though.”
Kendrick looks away from the road to me. “Didn’t you say I made you come harder than Bruno?”
I scoff. “So much harder, it’s not even funny.”
Kendrick hoots again. “Then don’t underestimate me. That Kendrick Cook is a sex god, man.”
I snicker. “First of all, don’t refer to yourself in third person, please. It creeps me out. And second of all, don’t you dare tell Bruno I said that, or he’ll try to gag you to death in your sleep.”
Kendrick grimaces. “Not the way I want to go out. Death by dildo.”
“Did you know the French call orgasms ‘little death?’ La petite mort. So, actually, death by dildo makes perfect sense, when you think about it like that.”
“Not being gagged to death by one, though. That’s a new fear unlocked. Thanks, Ruby.”
“Sure thing, babe.”
Kendrick adjusts his hands on the steering wheel. “Can I ask you something, in all seriousness? If you’ve never had an orgasm without the assistance of a vibrator, does that mean you always use one during sex? Or do you sometimes, you know, take care of yourself afterward, or . . .?”
“Either/or,” I answer honestly. “Also, there are lots of times when I just don’t bother with myself.” When Kendrick looks shocked, I add defensively, “Sex isn’t always about orgasms, you know. Sometimes, it’s about the journey, not the destination.”
“Well, yeah. But if you’re doing it right, isn’t it about both?”
“Not always. Not for me, anyway.”
He processes that. “Why don’t you always bother? You know, to get yours during sex?”
“Because it’s not always worth it.”
“I don’t understand.”
“It’s not always feasible to pull out a dildo, Kendrick. Also, sometimes, I don’t want to take the time. Or I’m feeling embarrassed.”
He looks pained. “You’ve got nothing to feel embarrassed about, Ruby. The guys you’ve been with, however … that’s another story. They should feel deeply ashamed of themselves.”
I press my lips together and look out the passenger-side window of Kendrick’s car—at the speckles of light rain dripping down the glass as we whiz down the freeway.
“It’s not their fault,” I whisper. “I don’t blame them.”
“Well, I do. I’d never, not in a million years, get off with you and not make sure you did, too. Never. So, I don’t understand how any guy was okay with that for you.”
It’s a mind-blowing way for me to look at things. “I’ve never thought of it that way.”
“How is that possible?”
“Kendrick, you have to understand, women get mind-fucked in our society, every which way, about sex and sexuality and our role in all of it. Whether we realize it or not, we’re programmed from a very young age to believe we’re here to give pleasure. To be sexy for men. To be a fantasy for them. But nobody ever tells us to expect or demand equal pleasure.”
“Huh.”
“Add to that, I was personally raised to believe sex outside of marriage is a sin.”
“You were?” He sounds shocked.
“Well, okay, or at the very least, to believe sex is only something you should do with someone you love. And boom. Mix that all together, and the result is me—a girl who can’t seem to get there without some mechanical help.”
He snickers gleefully. “Until now.”
I bite my lip. “Hopefully, that wasn’t a fluke.”
“Oh, it wasn’t a fluke. I promise you that.” Kendrick pauses for a moment. “I’m pretty sure Titus had sex with a couple girls in high school, unless he lied about that.”
“More than a couple.”
“But wasn’t he raised to think sex before marriage is a sin, too?”
“No. He’s a boy. Different rules apply, babe.”
“What? That’s totally fucked up.”
“I agree. My parents didn’t mean to screw me over or give me lifelong hang-ups. They were just raising Titus and me the way they were raised, you know? And that meant being extra-protective of their sweet, innocent little daughter and her ever-so-important virginity.” I roll my eyes. “I’m partly to blame, too, because I was such a people pleaser. Even if they’d tried to give Titus the same rules as they gave their sweet little daughter, he wouldn’t have followed them. Titus never gave a fuck about the rules.”