Total pages in book: 123
Estimated words: 116597 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 583(@200wpm)___ 466(@250wpm)___ 389(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 116597 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 583(@200wpm)___ 466(@250wpm)___ 389(@300wpm)
And then there was Carter.
He was in the far corner of the yard with Ava, making Zamboni perform tricks while Ava clapped and giggled and begged for more. I watched as he handed Ava a treat and illustrated what to do to command Zamboni to roll over. Ava did as he said, and when Zamboni flopped onto his back and rolled quickly before snapping back up to attention, Ava squealed with delight.
Ava was an absolute doll, her dark curls pinned into the cutest updo and a darling white fluff of tulle making up the dress she wore. Zamboni was battling her for cutest thing at the party, though, the little fur ball donning a doggie suit complete with bow tie.
But it was Carter who held my eye the longest.
Gone was the awkward rookie who stumbled over his own feet the night I first met him. Tonight, he looked like he belonged here — like he owned the place. His outfit wasn’t overly formal, just a perfectly tailored navy jacket and crisp white shirt with the collar undone, no tie in sight. The fabric stretched just enough over his broad chest and shoulders to remind me exactly what was underneath. His beige slacks cut a clean line down his long legs, hugging those thick thighs and that impossibly toned ass. Even playing with a dog and a kid, he exuded a swagger I wasn’t sure when he’d picked up… or how he’d learned to wear it so damn well.
He looked devastatingly handsome, but it wasn’t just the clothes. It was the way he carried himself, like he finally believed he deserved to stand tall, to be seen. Confidence dripped off him in a way that startled me, in a way that made me wonder if this transformation was my doing, or if he’d simply been waiting for the right moment to step into himself.
That confidence rattled me, too. Because every new layer of him I uncovered made it harder to pretend I wasn’t peeling back my own defenses along the way. I didn’t want to want this, the butterflies and the stuttering heartbeats — not with him, not with anyone. But my pulse apparently didn’t care what my brain was trying to tell it.
I still felt a little raw as I watched him from across the yard, like all my nerves had been exposed the night I confessed everything to him, and even a slight breeze had me wincing. That man had held me reverently as I broke in his arms, and he’d been with me every day since — even if all I had to offer him were a couple hours after work. It was like he didn’t want me to be alone after what I’d told him.
Or maybe like he never wanted me to be alone again.
And all of it was just too much. I was dressed to kill in a champagne-colored dress that fell like starlight over my slight curves, but inside, I was as uncomfortable as a nun in a strip club. Add in the fact that I couldn’t help but think of Lacey, of how my sister would get married soon just like Will and Chloe, and I had yet to decide if I’d be a part of it or not…
I was sick over it.
I wanted to be there with her, to hold her bouquet if she wanted, or help her navigate a giant dress when she had to pee. I wanted to see her all blubbery as she professed her love to the man who’d stolen her heart.
He was a man I didn’t even know, and somehow, that made the pain of it all worse.
And I knew I couldn’t be there with her without facing my biggest demons, without being in the same room with a man who’d assaulted me and the two people who were supposed to protect me but didn’t.
Inside, I was an emotional tornado.
And at the same time, standing there in that fairy-tale backyard, surrounded by friends and love and light, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt so safe. It was the lingering feel of Carter’s arms around me that had me feeling that way, despite how my mind raced.
That contradiction unsettled me. It was confusing and terrifying and dangerous.
I was still swimming in that discomfort when Carter looked up. His eyes found mine across the crowd as easily as if there was a tether between us, invisible but undeniable. He smiled, his warm, dark eyes dancing in the glow of the party, and I felt my own lips curve before I could stop them.
My stomach dropped like I’d stepped off the high dive, like there was no ground beneath me anymore and I didn’t know if I was diving into the safety of water or the certain death of concrete.