Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 86364 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 432(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86364 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 432(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
That was a fair question. My brain raced as I tried to imagine those first days. “I would have tried hard not to move back to Arizona like my parents wanted. The first week would have been in one of those shitty suite hotels until I could find a new place to live and some cheap furniture. I’ve got enough money socked away to get us on our feet, but as soon as we were settled, I’d be searching for another job.”
“What about Declan? Would you have stopped seeing him?”
“Yes.” I paused and rolled my eyes. “Maybe. I would have tried, but I have a feeling if I told him what was going on, he would have at least attempted to step in and help. We might have gotten around to the dating if he didn’t freak about Joy.”
Only he’d never really freaked out about Joy. His first introduction to her was finding her in my office alone. From that first moment, he’d sort of went with it. Like nothing could faze this man.
In fact, he adored my daughter. I could see it in his face every time he entered the room, and she was there. His eyes lit up and he would walk straight to her, eager to pick her up. He went ape shit the first time she’d crawled, just like I did.
Would we have ended up in the same spot even if I hadn’t moved in with him?
Possibly…
“How…how do I know if I miss Declan right now because I love him or if it’s that he makes me feel safe?”
Byron’s mouth twisted into the most adorable smirk, and he tilted his head at me. “Why can’t it be both? Why can’t you love him, and part of that love is because he makes you feel safe?”
I shoved a hand into my messy hair and pulled hard, sending a sharp pain across my scalp. “I left without telling him I love him. He doesn’t know. I was so scared, hiding behind him rather than facing the world.”
“Once you realized you might be hiding from the world, did you hesitate to leave?”
My hand dropped to my lap, and I shook my head. “Not really.”
“You don’t strike me as someone afraid to take on the world.”
I wasn’t. Not really. Molly’s death and the fire had knocked me on my ass, but I got up again. I’d taken care of my daughter, and I’d created my art. The entire time, I’d had an amazing man by my side, supporting me. And loving me.
Fuck.
I jumped to my feet and paced across the room before I realized I had no idea what I was doing. I spun to face Byron. “You sure Declan would take me back?” My friend grinned and opened his mouth to answer, but I was already waving both hands to stop him. “Doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter. I’ll convince him to take another chance on me. We’re supposed to be together. I love him and he loves me. Plus, he loves my daughter. I need some grand gesture to win him over. Convince him I love him and we belong together.”
Byron leaned forward, his elbow on his knee and his chin resting on his hand. “I’m pretty sure you could walk up to him and tell him how you feel.”
“Pffft. What you need to know about Parker Cain is that he doesn’t half-ass shit. I use my whole ass,” I declared, pointing at Byron. “Declan deserves a bold gesture to prove my intentions.”
“Maybe not too bold. Remember, Declan is a quiet guy. Small, meaningful gestures go further with him.”
“Okay. Good point.”
Yes, I had to find the perfect way to tell Declan that I never wanted to be away from him again. Without him, Joy and I weren’t a complete family.
25
DECLAN FOSTER
Me: I just wanted to check in with you and say, hey. Hope you’re good.
Me: Hey.
Parker: Hey, Dec. I’m good. Working on Pierce’s painting.
My heart skipped. Not only had Parker replied, but he’d texted almost immediately. That was a good sign, right? I fought the urge to check with Rome about whether this was a positive sign. It was more important to keep him texting.
Me: How’s Joy? Does she have any new friends at daycare?
Parker: She’s good. No new friends. But she’s getting much faster at crawling and even sitting up on her own now. I can see her eyeing stuff like she’s trying to figure out how to pull herself up.
Me: Brilliant! She’s the smartest baby ever.
Parker: [laughing emoji] 😆😆😆
Me: Do you have any new pics of her?
Parker: A few.
[Sends twenty-seven new pics of Joy in their new place.]
Parker: I took those yesterday.
I slowly scrolled through every photograph, treasuring each one as if I’d mined these nuggets of gold out of the earth with my bare hands. Most of them were taken when she was eating, her smiling face smeared with what appeared to be pureed green beans. However, the last few were of her fresh out of the bath, pink and squeaky clean, with her dark hair spiked into a mohawk. But the very final picture was of Joy sleeping. Her tiny fist was closed around the floppy ear of the plush brown bunny I’d gotten her. So precious and sweet. Only a week had gone by, but I swore she looked older to me.