Total pages in book: 134
Estimated words: 132464 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 662(@200wpm)___ 530(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 132464 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 662(@200wpm)___ 530(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
Garrett looks absolutely blindsided. “What?” he chokes out. “Who are you?”
“My name’s Frank Farmer,” I say.
Kat’s face lights up at the mention of my code name. (It should, for fuck’s sake—the woman’s only seen The Bodyguard twenty fucking times.)
“I believe you’re acquainted with my baby-momma, Kat?” I continue.
Garrett stares at me dumbly.
“We came here today because there’s something important I want to ask Kat—and I thought it’d be extra special for her if I asked her this particular question in front of you.”
Kat lets out a little yelp, perhaps realizing where this thing is headed.
“So I’d really appreciate it if you’d stay put and listen carefully to everything I’m about to say to her,” I continue. “And when I’m done asking Kat my important question, we’ll leave you alone so you can continue watching your hardcore porn and cheating on your wife with hookers and the bookkeeper at your church and the waitress at your country club.”
“Who are you?” Garrett blurts, his face ashen.
“I told you, I’m Frank Farmer,” I say. “And you’re gonna stay put and listen to everything I’m about to say to this gorgeous woman, or I’m gonna make your life a living fucking hell.” I look at my watch. “We’d better get started, Garrett. We don’t have that much time before your wife gets home from her hair appointment and I have no desire for her to hear any of this.”
“Fuck you,” Garrett blurts. “Get off my property or I’ll call the police.”
I take a menacing step forward, my fists clenched, and Garrett flinches.
“You’re not in any position to fuck me, cocksucker,” I say. “If anyone’s getting fucked today, trust me, it’s gonna be you. Now I want you to listen patiently to every word I have to say to this gorgeous creature, especially the grand finale at the end, because if you don’t, a certain photo that’s frozen on your laptop screen right now will be blasted to every single person on the email lists for your church and country club, not to mention your senator-daddy’s campaign-donor list, too. Feel free to run inside and check out the image on your laptop right now if you don’t believe me. We’ll wait.”
Garrett’s face twists in shock. He opens his mouth and shuts it again, but he doesn’t move from his spot on his doorstep.
“Good boy.” I look at Kat and smile. She looks like her head’s about to pop off. I take her hands in mine. “Kat, this motherfucker here once said you’re not ‘marriage material.’ But I’m here to tell you that you are. In fact, you’re not just ‘marriage material’ in general for some lucky guy, my love—you’re specifically marriage material for me.”
Kat lets out a little yelp and literally wobbles in place.
I grasp her arm and steady her. “You okay?”
Kat shakes her head. She’s totally losing it. She clamps her hand over her mouth.
“You gonna barf?” I ask.
She shakes her head again. “Keep going. I’m fine. Oh my God. Keep going, babe. Holy fuck.”
I look at Garrett. “Don’t go anywhere, fuckwad.”
Garrett crosses his arms over his chest, but he doesn’t move.
“Katherine Ulla Morgan,” I say. “You’re the great love of my life. I’ll never want anyone besides you, ever, ’til the end of time, forever and ever, and I’m one hundred percent sure of that fact. You’re The One, babe. The one and only. It’s literally impossible for me to want someone else, ever, because you’re sheer perfection in every way.” I glare at Garrett. “The reasons I love you are too numerous to count, but let me tell you just a few of them while we’ve got Garrett’s undivided attention.”
Kat whimpers.
“You’re hysterically funny, baby. Sweet and kind. Caring and compassionate. You take care of those you love with a fierceness I’ve never witnessed before. Babe, I admire you.”
She gasps.
“You’re a sassy little thing,” I continue. “Good lord are you sassy. A fucking terrorist. A demon spawn. A force of nature. To call you determined is like calling a pit bull assertive.”
Kat laughs.
“You’re honest, Kat. Oh my fuck, do you call me on my shit. The way you don’t kiss my YOLO’d ass is one of the best things about you. You’re smart, baby. Intuitive. Clever. Bold. When I’m with you, there’s no place I’d rather be, no matter what we’re doing, even if we’re just peeing in a fucking bush.”
Kat laughs heartily through her tears.
“You’re hell on wheels, Kat Morgan. Totally unpredictable. A heart of gold hidden beneath a layer of pure evil. And I love all of it.”
Kat laughs again and wipes her eyes.
“I’ll never get bored with you. It’s impossible. Never a dull moment.” I glare at Garrett. “I’m one hundred percent positive I’ll never feel the need to watch gangbang-bukkake-porn as long as you’re by my side because you’re better than any porno—better than any fantasy. With you, life is a fantasy. Every single day.”