Total pages in book: 134
Estimated words: 132464 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 662(@200wpm)___ 530(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 132464 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 662(@200wpm)___ 530(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
Kat makes a weird chortling sound, a combination of a cry and a laugh.
I shoot daggers at Garrett again and then return my gaze to Kat. “Garrett here didn’t think you were marriage material because you’re so sexual. Let’s talk about that, shall we? Because, my love—my beautiful, sexy, feisty, funny, kinky, perverted, wonderful sick fuck—the way your motor runs so fucking hot is definitely one of the best things about you. You’re highly sexual because you’re so fucking passionate, Kat—because you’re relentlessly honest and raw and a fucking beast in every way. You should never, ever be ashamed of your amazing sexuality. It’s your superpower, baby.” I glare at Garrett again, and, for some reason, a rage rises up and boils over inside me. “Hang on a second, my love,” I say to Kat. I drop her hands and take a menacing step toward Garrett, pointing at Kat behind me. “This woman right here is a fucking unicorn,” I seethe. “She fucks like a dude and sucks a dick like nobody else.”
Kat squeals with glee behind my shoulder.
“In fact, she’s quite literally the best dick-sucker the world has ever seen. If there were an Olympic event in the sport of dick-sucking, Katherine Morgan would take the gold, silver, and fucking bronze.”
Kat makes a sound of pure joy.
“And the way she fucks? Oh my God. When it comes to fucking, this woman right here is truly gifted. If fucking were thinking, Kat Morgan would have a genius-level IQ.”
Kat bursts out laughing and so do I.
But Garrett isn’t laughing. Not at all. “I’m calling the cops,” he seethes.
“Oh, shut the fuck up, Garrett. No, you’re not. Because we both know I’m in your computer right now—and what information I’ve got access to. But, for what it’s worth, I promise I’m not here to harm you today. Actually, I’m here to thank you—from the bottom of my heart. If you hadn’t been such a slut-shaming prick who was more concerned about what Mommy and Daddy would think than letting yourself be truly happy in this one fucking life, if you’d rather secretly beat off while watching porn on your computer than fuck a woman who looks like Kat every day of your life—then all I can say is, you’re my new best friend. Because, thanks to you and your tiny dick and even smaller balls, this gorgeous woman is all mine ’til the end of fucking time, praise be to God.”
Kat makes a strangled sound.
“Which brings me to that question I’ve got for you, Kat.”
I turn away from Garrett, pull the closed ring box out of my pocket, and kneel down. “Katherine Ulla Morgan,” I begin, holding up the box, a huge smile on my face.
“Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!” Kat shrieks.
I pause, thinking Kat’s gonna calm down and let me get a word in edgewise, but, instead, she lets out a pained wail like she’s a spider and her eight legs are being simultaneously ripped off her body.
“Babe,” I say. “Are you okay?”
She nods, but she looks like she’s about to keel over.
“Put your hands on my shoulders,” I say. “I guarantee you, when I open this box, your knees are gonna buckle, babe.”
Kat puts her hands on my shoulders, squealing and trembling.
I take a deep breath. “Katherine Ulla Morgan,” I begin again, beaming up at her—but before I can say another word, Kat pivots, buckles over, and barfs all over Garrett’s shoes.
“What the fuck!” Garrett yells, jumping back.
I burst out laughing. Oh my God. This is the best day of my life.
“You people are fucking crazy!” Garrett shouts. “Get the fuck off my property!”
I stand, howling with laughter. “You okay, babe?” I choke out, completely ignoring Garrett.
Kat’s laughing hysterically right along with me. “Yeah, I’m great.” She wipes her mouth. “Oh my God. Now that’s a story for the grandchildren.”
“I’m not gonna say it again,” Garrett says. “I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, but—”
I’ve suddenly got anti-freeze in my veins. In a flash, I’ve got a fistful of Garrett’s shirt in my palm and I’m slamming his backside against his front door. “My hacker’s in complete control of your computer right now, motherfucker,” I growl, “which means he’s in complete control of your life. Now, if you don’t believe me, go check your screen right now—your screen-saver is that selfie you took when you were getting blown by that hooker in Vegas.”
Garrett’s jaw drops.
“Go look at your laptop if you don’t believe me, cocksucker,” I grit out. “I’ll wait.”
Garrett waffles briefly and then slams the door in our faces.
“You need some water, PG?” I ask.
Kat nods. “Sorry. That was so gross.” She looks down at herself. “Did I get puke on my pretty dress?”
“Nope. Not a drop. Just all over Garrett.” I chuckle. “So fucking hilarious.”