Total pages in book: 134
Estimated words: 132464 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 662(@200wpm)___ 530(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 132464 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 662(@200wpm)___ 530(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
“You know what, Jonas?” I say. “You should wear black-tie more often, bro—it suits you. You’ve got this Thor-meets-James-Bond thing going on.”
Jonas scoffs. “I feel more like I’ve got an Idiot-Brother-meets-Dancing-Monkey-thing going on.”
“All done,” Uncle William says, patting Henn on his shoulder. He turns Henn to face me. “Acceptable, Joshua?”
“Suave perfection,” I say. “You’re Cary-Grant-meets-Steve-Jobs, Henn.”
Reed sidles up to me with a bottle of Patron. “A little something to calm the jitters, Faraday?”
“Just a little sip,” I say, grabbing the bottle. “Any more than that and I might spontaneously shart from being too relaxed.” I take a quick sip and then pass the bottle around.
“Pretty good,” Uncle William says when the bottle makes its way to him. “But at the reception, we’re all drinking my Scotch.”
“Did you bring the good stuff?” I ask.
“Of course. I brought several different bottles to be shared at the party, plus I’ve got bottles of some forty-year-old stuff for each of you boys to take home.”
“Bottles of what now?” Henn asks, his face perking up.
“Scotch,” I answer. “From my uncle’s private stash. Whatever it is, it’ll change your life, I guarantee it.”
“Well, don’t mind if I do,” Henn says. “Thanks, Uncs.” He pats my Uncle on the back.
Uncle William laughs. “You’re very welcome, Peter. Do you boys know anything about Scotch?” he asks, and when Henn and Reed both admit they’re fairly clueless, my uncle proceeds to school both of them on the topic.
“Hey, Jonas?” I say. “Can I talk to you for a second?”
We move to the corner of the bungalow.
“You okay?” Jonas asks.
I nod. “Just a lot more nervous than I expected to be.” I shake out my arms. “It’s taken me a lifetime to get here. I don’t wanna fuck it up.”
Jonas looks at me sympathetically. “Just take a deep breath. It’ll be over soon.”
“No, not the ceremony. The marriage. I don’t wanna fuck it up.”
“You won’t. You never fuck anything up.”
I scoff. “We both know that’s a load of complete bullshit. Got any advice for me?”
“Just imagine everyone naked,” Jonas says. “Except Sarah. Definitely don’t picture Sarah naked or I’ll have to punch you in your pretty face.”
“No, don’t give me advice about saying my vows—gimme your best advice for a happy marriage. You’re the happiest married guy I know.”
Jonas shrugs. “Well, I haven’t been married all that long—but, yeah, I guess I already know the secret. Put her happiness ahead of your own every single day and it’ll come back to you ten-fold.”
“You sound like a fortune cookie.”
He laughs. “Yeah, just add ‘in bed’ to anything I say.”
“Thank you, Jonas,” I say. “That’s exactly what I’ll do. I’ll worship her every fucking day.”
“In bed,” Jonas says. Emotion washes over his face and he hugs me. “I’m so happy for you, Josh. You’ve been my rock my whole life, and I don’t know what I would have done—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I say, pushing him away. “Bro, we just did this exact thing mere months ago at your wedding. Do we really need to talk about our fucking feelings again so fucking soon?”
Jonas laughs. “But, Josh—talking lets the feelings out.”
We both laugh.
“Honestly,” I say, “I love you, bro, I really do, but I don’t have a pressing need to articulate every warm and gooey feeling I have about you more than, say, once a year?”
“Fine by me,” Jonas says, shrugging. “Once a year sounds good. And, by the way, I love you, too.”
“Gah. Stop. What’d I just say? Once a year, bro. How ’bout we do it on our birthday?”
“Great. I’ll mark it on my calendar: ‘Remember to tell Josh I love him today and that he’s the best brother a guy could ever hope for.’”
“I think you just did an end-run around that one-year thing,” I say.
Jonas winks. “I’m smart like that. Remember? I’m the smart one, and you’re the good-looking one.”
“No, I don’t think that’s how things got divvied up. You’re the smart one and good-looking one, Jonas. I’m the charming one.”
“And we’re both the happy ones,” Jonas says.
We share a huge smile.
“Did you ever think life would turn out like this for us?” Jonas asks, shaking his head.
I join him in shaking my head. “Never. Like, literally, never. Things weren’t looking too good for the Faraday brothers for a while, but we’ve pulled victory out of the jaws of defeat, haven’t we?”
“Definitely.”
The wedding planner pokes her head into the bungalow. “We’re ready for you gentlemen now. Time to take your positions on the beach.” She looks at her watch. “We have to time this with the sunset, so you’ve got to be in position in five.”
“Thanks,” I say to her.
Jonas and I hug.
“Congratulations, Josh,” he says.
“Couldn’t have done it without you, bro—you showed me how to do it.”
Jonas flashes a huge smile.
“Thank you, Jonas.”
Jonas nods. “My pleasure.”
I take a deep breath and turn toward the rest of the guys. “Ready, men?”