Total pages in book: 134
Estimated words: 132464 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 662(@200wpm)___ 530(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 132464 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 662(@200wpm)___ 530(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
Oh, Josh is staring at me, apparently expecting me to guess who called him after Henn.
I shrug. “I have no idea who called you,” I say. “I haven’t told anyone else.”
“Reed,” Josh says. “Because, apparently, Henn called Reed right after Hannah told him the news.”
“He did? Oh.”
“Yeah, he did. Which is so unlike Henn, I was shocked—if you wanna see what a real steel safe looks like, look no further than Peter Hennessey—so I asked Reed what Henn had said to him, and do you know what Reed said?”
I shake my head.
“He told me that when you told Hannah our baby news, Hannah asked if you were keeping things on the down-low for a while—because she was fully prepared to keep our secret and respect our privacy—but you said, and I quote, ‘Not at all! I don’t care who knows about it! Blab away, Hannah Banana Montana Milliken! I’m bursting at the seams for the whole world to know!’”
I bite my lip. “I said that? I don’t think I said that.”
“Well, either you said it or Hannah’s lying. Which is it?”
“Hannah’s lying. Definitely. She’s a big, fat liar. Actually, there’s something you should know about Hannah: she’s a pathological liar. Poor thing truly can’t discern the difference between truth and fiction. It’s such a shame. She’s a really sweet girl otherwise.”
Josh is clearly suppressing a smile. “Huh. Pretty weird you set Henn up with a known pathological liar. That wasn’t very nice of you.”
I shrug, trying to suppress my smirk.
“And even weirder you wanted her to be your right-hand-woman at Golden Kat PR. That sounds like horrible judgment on your part, PG.”
“Well, you know, I was hoping to rehabilitate her—kill her with kindness until she saw the error of her ways.”
Josh chuckles.
“So you’re not mad at me for being a blabbermouth?” I ask.
“No, if you wanna blab, go ahead. All I ask is that you tell me first so my best friends aren’t calling me up, congratulating me on my forthcoming child, and I’m sitting there like a flop-dick with my thumb up my ass.”
“I’m sorry. I just couldn’t keep it to myself. Now that I’m finally through the first trimester and feeling so much better, I’m bursting to tell people.”
Josh grabs my hand. “You’re so fucking adorable, Kat.”
I grin. “So what did Reed say? Was he shocked?”
“To put it mildly,” Josh says. “But when I told him I’m starting to get sort of excited about our little kumquat, he was really happy for me—for us.”
“Lime.”
“Huh?”
“The baby’s the size of a lime now.” I pat my stomach. “No longer a kumquat.”
Josh makes a face that melts me. He touches my stomach. “No matter how big the baby gets, it will always be the-kumquat-inside-the-Kumquat to me.”
My heart leaps. “You told Reed you’re getting sort of excited about the kumquat?”
Josh beams a beautiful smile at me. “Yeah.”
“And are you?”
“Babe, what the hell have I been doing this whole past week with you, shopping for cribs and diaper changing tables and fucking onesies and maternity leggings if I’m not starting to get at least a little bit excited about the-kumquat-inside-the-Kumquat?”
I shrug. “It still feels nice to hear you say it.”
Josh grabs my hand, his eyes sparkling. “Well that settles it, babe—you’ve definitely got a vagina.”
“I sure hope so,” I say. “Because pushing a baby out my peen would really hurt.”
“Oh my God. Gah.” He shudders with phantom pain and puts his forehead on his steering wheel. “Don’t say that. Just the thought.”
I giggle. “Okay, Playboy. You ready to go into Morgan Manor now?” I look at my watch. “Oh, we’re still a bit early—it’s ten to seven. My mom said to come between seven and seven-thirty.”
Josh takes a deep breath. “Good. That gives me a little more time to prepare mentally.”
“Prepare mentally? To meet my family? Babe, they’re gonna love you. Don’t worry, they’re predisposed to love you because I love you and I told them so. I told them I love you, I love you, I love you—and I do.”
“But you said the same thing about Garrett-Asswipe-Bennett and Colby hated that fucker.”
I roll my eyes. “No, Colby hated Garrett-Asswipe-Bennett because he was an asswipe, and you’re not. Plus, I didn’t actually love Garrett—I just thought I did because I was young and stupid and blinded by hormones. And, anyway, regardless, I never told Garrett I loved him and I certainly never, ever told my family ‘I love him, I love him, I love him,’ the way I’ve told them about you.” I touch Josh’s thigh. “Because I’ve never love, love, loved anyone before you—and my family will easily be able to see that.”
Josh’s smile could light the night sky. “I love you, Kat.”
I sigh happily. “It’ll never get old hearing you say that.”
“Hey, you know what I just realized?” Josh says. “After all your blabbing, I bet someone’s gonna say something about the baby to your parents at Jonas and Sarah’s wedding—definitely not the way we’d want them to find out.”