Total pages in book: 134
Estimated words: 132464 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 662(@200wpm)___ 530(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 132464 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 662(@200wpm)___ 530(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
I shrug. “Fucketh you-eth?”
“Holy shit, Josh. No. She says, ‘I wouldn’t marry you if you were the last man on earth.’”
“Oh my fuck.” I slap my forehead. “Kat’s diabolical.”
“No, you’re just a dumbshit of epic proportions.”
“Apparently,” I agree.
“Watch it and pay careful attention to the difference between the first and second proposals. That’ll tell you everything you need to know about what she wants the second time around.”
I exhale. “Shit. I’m an idiot.”
“You really are.”
“Damn. I’ve got a lot of homework to do.”
“I’ll grab my hotspot out of my room so you can download all the movies onto your iPad. The hotel Wi-Fi is for shit.”
“Thanks, bro.”
Jonas gets up and moves toward the French doors.
“Hey, Jonas?”
Jonas stops and turns around, his eyebrows raised.
“I don’t know what I would have done without your help on this. I was really stressed out and now I feel like I’ve got a plan of attack. Thank you.”
“No thanks required,” Jonas says. “I’m not doing this for you—I’m doing it for me.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yes. If you marry Kat, then Sarah will be insanely happy, which will make me insanely happy. Happy wife, happy life.” He smiles from ear to ear. “Very, very happy life.”
“Ah. Well, you’re a selfish bastard, then.”
Jonas laughs and turns toward the French doors, but before he leaves, he turns back around. “Hey, by the way. What the fuck did you do to poor Kat earlier? I thought Sarah was a screamer. Holy fuck, Josh.”
I grin and take a long sip of my water—I’m a gentleman, after all.
“So I take it you found the books I sent you helpful?” Jonas asks.
My smile broadens. “Yeah. Definitely. Although what I did to Kat earlier was all me—no research required.” I snicker.
Jonas’ white teeth are glowing in the pre-dawn light. “Hey, whatever works—just as long as you keep your unicorn well fed, right?”
“Fuck yeah,” I say.
“Fuck yeah,” Jonas replies. He pauses. “Hey, if I didn’t happen to be out here on the balcony when you had insomnia, would you have asked me for help?”
I don’t reply.
“You can lean on me, Josh,” Jonas says earnestly. “It doesn’t always have to be you carrying me on your back all the time. I’m right here. I can help you sometimes, too.”
“Dude, are you on crack? I lean on you all the time,” I say. “You’re the man, Jonas—a fucking beast.”
Jonas flashes me a look of such unadulterated love and kindness, my heart squeezes in my chest.
“Now go get me that hotspot, cocksucker,” I say. “Or any second now you’re gonna make me wanna slap my own fucking face—I can feel it coming on now—and it’s way too early in the morning for me to be doing that shit.”
Thirty-Two
Josh
The band onstage behind Jonas and me finishes playing a cover of Pharrell William’s “Happy” and the partygoers packed into Climb & Conquer’s flagship Seattle gym applaud uproariously.
“Welcome to our grand opening,” I say to the crowd, speaking into the microphone in my hand. “I know you’re all chomping at the bit to keep climbing and conquering our rock walls for the first time ever today—so we’re gonna keep the talking to a minimum. We just wanted to thank you all for coming out to the gym today to celebrate the birth of our baby.”
Everyone claps and cheers.
“For those of you who don’t already know,” I continue, “I’m Josh Faraday and this is my brother, Jonas—and we’re the founders of Climb & Conquer.” The band behind us breaks into a spontaneous riff of “For He’s the Jolly Good Fellow” and everyone laughs. “Wow, could you guys follow me around wherever I go?” I say.
Everyone in the room chuckles.
“Although, if you’re gonna follow me around playing my own personal theme music, I think it’d have to be ‘The Joker.’”
The band instantly breaks into a few bars of that song, and everyone in the entire building, including me, bursts out laughing.
“Wow, you’re good,” I say, pointing at the bandleader, and she points back at me, a huge smile on her face. I address the crowd again. “Jonas and I have worked hard to bring Climb & Conquer to life—but it’s really Jonas who first had the vision—so I’m gonna turn the microphone over to my brother and let him tell you what Climb & Conquer is all about. Jonas?”
Everyone applauds and I hand the microphone to my brother.
“Hi, everyone. Thanks, Josh.” Jonas flashes his most charming smile and begins telling the rapt audience about what climbing has meant to him personally during his life and how he’s always dreamed of sharing his passion with the world.
Wow. For a guy who despises public speaking as much as Jonas does, I’m duly impressed with how well Jonas is pulling this off—especially since, when we were planning our speeches for this event a few days ago, Jonas practically begged me to do all the speaking. “How about I stand onstage next to you and nod while you talk?” he said. “I’ll be the ‘something shiny’—remember that?”