Total pages in book: 134
Estimated words: 132464 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 662(@200wpm)___ 530(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 132464 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 662(@200wpm)___ 530(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
“... and becoming better than you ever thought you could be,” Jonas says.
Everyone claps enthusiastically.
“And as part of our genuine commitment to extraordinary aspiration,” Jonas says, yet again making me want to roll my eyes at his word choice, “Climb & Conquer has identified certain designated charities we’ll be supporting with a portion of our proceeds.”
I look at Sarah in the crowd. She’s standing next to Kat and Henn and Hannah, staring up at her new husband like he’s a golden god. Just as I’m about to look away from Sarah, she pushes a lock of dark hair away from her face and her rock sparkles at me all the way up onstage. Shit. I hate seeing Sarah’s big-ass diamond—no offense to her. As happy as I am for Mr. and Mrs. Jonas Faraday, that goddamned ring only serves to remind me how much I’m physically aching to slip a big-ass ring onto Kat’s finger, too.
The good news is that, last night, after watching Pride and Prejudice, the last of the movies on my “Kat’s all-time favorites” list, I finally figured out exactly how to propose to Kat. Actually, the gist of my plan came to me weeks ago in Argentina while watching Pretty Woman—specifically, the scene where Julia Roberts goes into that ritzy store in Beverly Hills, all dressed up in her brand new clothes, and tells the bitchy store clerk she made a “huge” mistake the prior day by refusing to help her—but, last night, every last detail of my entire plan finally came together in my mind.
Everyone claps at something Jonas has said, so I clap, too, not wanting to look like I’m not listening (which I’m not).
“So, without further ado,” Jonas says, “let’s let the band play while you guys climb and conquer our rock walls and have a great time.”
Everyone claps and cheers.
I grab the microphone from Jonas. “Thanks for coming, everyone—Happy Birthday, Climb & Conquer!”
Everyone cheers again.
I motion to the band and they launch into a rousing rendition of “Shout” that has everyone instantly throwing up their hands and singing along.
Jonas and I stand for a moment, smiling together in front of a “Climb & Conquer Grand Opening!” banner as a photographer takes a hundred shots. When we finally make our way offstage, Sarah and Kat greet us, both of them sporting huge smiles.
“I’m so proud of you,” Kat coos into my ear, throwing her arms around my neck. “Watching you up there made me wanna attack you, babe—you’re a freakin’ rock star. Gorgeous. Funny. Charismatic. The sexiest man alive.” She literally growls and presses her body into mine, making my dick open its single eye and say, “Did I just hear a cock-a-doodle-doo?” “Oh my God, you make me horny,” Kat whispers, pressing her body into mine. “I feel like I’ve got a vibrator permanently pressed against my clit these days.”
“Babe,” I whisper. “You can’t say that to me right now. You’re making me rock hard.”
“Oh my God. Press it against me.”
I do.
“Ooph. I can’t resist you,” Kat says. “I wanna give you a blowjob right now.”
I don’t hesitate. “Bathroom in my office in twenty,” I whisper.
“It’s a date.” She makes a sexual sound. “God damn you turn me on, Joshua.”
“You’re killing me, Katherine,” I whisper. “I still gotta say hi to your fucking parents, for Chrissakes.”
“Sucks to be you, I guess,” she says. “Except that it’s about to be freaking awesome to be you, baby.” She winks.
“You’re killing me,” I whisper.
“What a way to go,” she whispers back.
“Come on, Kitty Kat,” Sarah says. “Dance with me.”
“Great,” Kat says, letting Sarah pull her to the dance floor. But just before she disappears into the crowd, Kat flashes me a look that’s so naughty, I have to put my hands in front of my crotch to hide my arousal.
Damn. Who knew pregnancy could be this fucking awesome? It started out rough, I’ll admit that, but these days, it’s nothing but fun. The woman’s been on fire lately, even for her.
“Can I ask you a few questions?” a female reporter asks Jonas to my left, her cameraman in tow—and for a split second, I’m reminded of Heidi Kumquat, who I seem to recall asked the Super Bowl MVP that very question. Kat. There’s never a dull moment with her. I’m so fucking head over heels in love with that girl, so obsessed with the idea of making her my wife, so addicted to her, mind, body, and soul, I can barely function these days. I can’t even remember how it felt not to love her and sleep with her every night and fuck her at every opportunity. I truly never knew I could love someone this way—so completely. So honestly. It’s like Kat’s unlocked something that was hidden deep inside me, and every day I become more and more fully me, as ridiculous as that sounds.