Total pages in book: 43
Estimated words: 42745 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 214(@200wpm)___ 171(@250wpm)___ 142(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 42745 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 214(@200wpm)___ 171(@250wpm)___ 142(@300wpm)
I step back from Bree and force my smile wider. “This is so exciting.”
Bree squeezes my hand. “Thank you.”
I nod, but I can’t say anything else.
The room is full of laughter and congratulations, but all I can hear is the question I asked Penn this morning. Do you not want to have kids with me? And the silence that came before his answer.
I look down at my hands, twisting my fingers together in my lap. I’m happy for them. But I’m breaking for me. I don’t think I can do this anymore.
CHAPTER 11
PENN
On our way home from Ozzy’s, I got called in for an emergency. There was a bus wreck, and the hospital needed all hands on deck. I know Aria and I have a lot to talk about, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little relieved to have to go in. That makes me a coward, and I know it. But after everything that happened at Ozzy’s, after the way she looked at me when Logan and Bree announced their pregnancy, I didn’t know what to say to her. So I dropped her off at the house with a quick “I love you” and headed to the hospital.
She didn’t say it back.
I told myself she was upset and that she needed time. I figured we both needed some time so we could have a discussion about everything. But I didn’t go home.
After a long night, I slept in my office. Then another emergency came in, and by the time my shift finally ended, it was late the next day.
I called Aria a few times, but she never answered. I sent her a few text messages, and she read them, but she never responded. And now, I’m practically holding my breath when I walk in the front door of our home.
The first thing I notice is how quiet it is.
“Aria?” I call out, but there’s no answer.
I set my keys on the table by the door and listen for her. Maybe she’s in her office asleep on her couch. Or maybe she’s still mad and pretending not to hear me. “Aria?” I call out again.
My chest tightens as I walk through the living room. Everything looks normal at first. The throw blanket is folded over the back of the couch. Her book and reading glasses are in their spot on the end table. I check her office first, but it’s empty.
The couch is neat. The pillow she slept on the other night is back in place, but her laptop is gone.
My stomach drops. I turn and head upstairs, taking the steps two at a time. “Aria?”
The bedroom is dark and empty.
I stand in the doorway, staring at the bed. It’s made with everything looking comfy and welcoming, but then I see the note on my pillow.
I just stare at it from across the room. I move closer, staring at it. A folded piece of paper with my name written across the front. My hand shakes as I pick it up. I don’t want to open it because some part of me already knows she’s left me. That’s all this can mean.
I unfold the paper and force myself to read.
Penn,
I need a few days to think.
First, I need you to know that I love you. That’s why this hurts so much. But you are hurting me even if I don’t think you mean to. I don’t think you wake up and decide to break my heart but that doesn’t change the fact that it keeps happening.
I keep trying to understand. I tell myself you’re tired, you’re busy, you’re under pressure, you’re saving lives. I keep making excuses because I know the man you are and I know you love me.
But then something happens like the other morning and I question everything all over again.
I thought we wanted the same things. A family. I thought we were building a life together. But now I don’t know if that’s true anymore.
If you don’t want those things with me, I need you to tell me.
I’m begging you. Please, just tell me.
I can handle the truth, Penn. What I can’t handle is being shut out. I can’t keep guessing what I did wrong or wondering why my husband looks at me like he loves me and then pulls away like I’m asking for too much.
I’ve left. I’m staying with Cathy for a few days just so I can think about things. I know we need to talk but I need space because being in this house right now hurts too much.
I love you.
Aria
By the time I finish reading, I can’t breathe. I read it over and over.
And I get stuck on the part that says You are hurting me.
I press the paper to my chest and close my eyes. Fuck. I did this.