Total pages in book: 43
Estimated words: 42745 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 214(@200wpm)___ 171(@250wpm)___ 142(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 42745 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 214(@200wpm)___ 171(@250wpm)___ 142(@300wpm)
I pick up my phone again and open the apartment listings, even though the thought of signing a lease somewhere makes my stomach hurt. I can’t imagine living without Penn, and if Penn and I are not together, can I even stay in Whiskey Run? I know I would see him, and there’s no doubt my heart would break every time I did.
I close the app and press my fingers to my eyes. I can’t do this.
“Aria.”
My whole body freezes. I hold in a gasp and look up to find Penn standing a few feet away in his white coat. I don’t say anything, just stare at him. His hair is mussed, and it looks like he hasn’t shaved in days. His eyes are locked on me, and there’s no hiding the hurt on his face.
“Can I sit?” he asks.
I nod because I don’t trust myself to speak.
He drops into the chair across from me, but he doesn’t say anything at first. He just looks at me, taking me in like he hasn’t seen me in months instead of a few days.
He tilts his head to the side. “You look tired,” he says softly.
I let out a humorless laugh. “You always did know how to compliment a woman.”
His mouth twitches, but the smile doesn’t last. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
I nod. “I know.”
His gaze drops to my barely touched sandwich. “Are you eating?”
I lift my shoulders. “I’m trying.”
“Good.”
The single word is so Penn that it almost breaks me. He wants to check my pulse and make sure I’ve slept and I’m eating. Maybe that should annoy me, but it doesn’t. I miss being cared for and loved by him.
“How have you been?” he asks.
I lift one shoulder. “Fine.”
His jaw tightens. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Tell me you’re fine when you’re not.”
I look down at my hands. “You don’t get to ask for honesty from me when you won’t give it back.”
He sighs loudly. “I deserve that,” he says.
I don’t argue.
He leans forward, his forearms braced on the table. “Are you okay?”
I almost laugh again, but I’m afraid it will turn into something else. “Not really.”
His face tightens, and for a second, I think he’s going to reach for me, but he doesn’t. “Are you safe?”
My forehead creases. “At Cathy’s? She lives in Whiskey Run. It’s all safe.”
He nods. “And you’re okay?”
I pop a shoulder. “I mean, yeah. I’m sleeping on her couch and sharing it with her fifteen-pound Siamese, but I’m okay.”
His eyes widen. “You should go home. I’m not staying there, so you wouldn’t have to worry about seeing me.”
My heart literally feels like it does a flip-flop in my chest. “Oh.”
I want to ask him where he’s been staying, but I’m not sure I can handle his answer. He must see it on my face because he’s quick to assure me, “I’ve been sleeping in my office here at the hospital. By myself,” he adds.
He closes his eyes tightly and then opens them. “I just don’t want you to think there’s someone else. There’s not, and there never will be.”
I open my mouth but quickly close it.
We sit here in silence, and everything between us feels too big for a hospital cafeteria. People are walking by, and there are trays clattering and people talking. But Penn gestures to my phone. The screen is black now, but obviously he saw it. “Are you looking at apartments?”
I swallow hard. “I don’t know.”
His face goes pale. “I haven’t signed anything,” I add quickly, and I hate that I feel the need to reassure him when he’s the one who pushed me to this place.
He nods, but he looks like I’ve gutted him.
“I was thinking about coming home,” I admit.
His eyes snap to mine, and I shake my head. “But then I read your text again,” I say.
His brows pull together. “My text?”
“‘You deserve happiness, Aria. I hope you find it.’”
He goes still.
I push my sandwich away because there’s no chance I can eat now. “That doesn’t sound like a husband asking his wife to come home, Penn.”
He drags a hand over his jaw. “That’s not what I meant.”
“What did you mean?”
He doesn’t answer fast enough.
My chest aches, and I shake my head. “See? This is what I’m talking about.”
“I meant that I want you happy.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “And if that’s not with you?”
His eyes darken, and he looks almost dangerous. “Don’t.”
“You said it.”
“I know what I said.”
“Then what am I supposed to think?” I ask. “Because it feels like you’re trying to push me toward a life without you.”
His hands curl into fists on the table. “That is the last thing I want.”
I shake my head. “Is it? Because it sure doesn’t feel like it.”
“Yes.”
I point at him. “Then why does everything you say sound like you’re letting me go?”