Total pages in book: 112
Estimated words: 103754 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 519(@200wpm)___ 415(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103754 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 519(@200wpm)___ 415(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
The words cause her chin to tremble, and she grasps her clasped hands to her chest. “You don’t know what it means to hear you say that, Keats.” She reaches across the table and covers my hand with hers. “I failed you as a mother. You practically raised yourself, but it’s hard to look at all your success and wish to change anything. But selfishly, I would if I could. I’d snap myself out of the daze I was living in sooner, go back to school, and even learn to cook a proper meal for my kid.”
If she had said these things to me when I was a teen or even in my early twenties, I would have given her a chance. It’s been years since then, since I spared my own feelings by isolating myself. But when I sit across from her like I am now, I can feel the need that little boy in me still has. Fuck my dad, but I miss my mom. “It was hard back then. I don’t hold a grudge. We can’t change it anyhow, only how we move forward.”
“Can we move forward?”
“I’d like that, and to see you more often.” I grin involuntarily because Spark is my heart and soul. “And introduce you to Sosie.”
Sitting back, there’s an easiness that shapes her body language. I feel it too. She asks, “Is she a special someone in your life?”
“She’s my everything.”
The smile rolls in gradually, but happiness is exuded in her eyes. “I can’t wait to meet her. She’s lucky to have you.”
“Trust me, I’m the lucky one.” I reach for my phone. “Want to see a picture?”
After dinner, we go for one of those walks she likes until we reach her subway station. I didn’t dread seeing her. I’ve wanted her in my life, but I had concerns of being disappointed, of feeling like I might not matter. Still. This meal changed everything for the better. I think for her as well. There’s a road back that’s unexpected. I want her to be a part of my life, and Sosie’s. “Hey Mom?”
We stop out of the path to the steps. She’s still smiling like she can’t believe she’s seeing me. I recognize it because I feel the same. I say, “I have a signing in a few months at the Barnes & Noble in Union Square. If you have time to stop by—”
“I’ll be there.” Like me, she’s not one to talk someone’s ear off, but what she says, she means. Tonight, the difference in her, and how our relationship has grown, is noticeable, so I know she won’t let me down. “I’ll put you on the guest list.”
I give her the type of hug I wanted growing up. The best part is that she returns it. “I love you, Keats. And I’m so proud of the man you’ve become.” When we release the embrace, she laughs as she starts down the steps. “Heaven knows I get no credit for it.”
“Sure you do. I wouldn’t be here without you.” When she glances back, the changes she’s made shine in her eyes, but it’s the joy she carries that reassures me she’s finally in a good place.
The sun hasn’t set since it’s the summer solstice, so it’s time to enact part two of my plan for the night. I would have thought I’d be more nervous. I’m not. This is right. The timing and the night.
Through the large panes of glass, paintings are mixed with photos hung on the gallery walls. From the street view, it doesn’t take more than a glance to catch sight of my Sosie fluttering from one group of potential buyers to the next. Champagne in hand, she laughs like she was never locked in a life she didn’t love.
Breezy happiness is what I sometimes call it. She makes everything better. Even molecules caught in her spotlight reorganize to stay there. I feel special by association, but that she chose me to love makes me a fucking hero.
Her lips twist, though it doesn’t hide her smile when she sees me. A hand goes to her jeans-clad hip, and the cream-colored diamond-shaped fabric clings to her tits while showing off her arms and her stunning back. Should I be jealous of the other men who get to take her in as well? Nah, I’m the one who gets to unwrap that package later. She holds up a finger and tells me to stay where I am.
I don’t mind being a voyeur as she zips across the room and whispers something in her coworker’s ear. They both glance my way before giggling, making me chuckle under my breath. The little top knot on her head reveals the cotton candy pink streaks she recently added to her hair, and bounces when she rushes out the door. After a quick twirl, she lands right in my arms.