Total pages in book: 62
Estimated words: 60023 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 300(@200wpm)___ 240(@250wpm)___ 200(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 60023 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 300(@200wpm)___ 240(@250wpm)___ 200(@300wpm)
With that, I turn and walk away.
I don’t look back.
My feet hit the gravel with a force that feels almost punishing, like if I slam them hard enough into the earth, I can shake the feelings loose. But they cling. They always do. Shame. Rage. Hurt. The kind of pain that doesn’t make noise but still cuts so fucking deep it makes it hard to breathe.
I make it to the side of the clubhouse before my knees give out. I crouch down by the old, rusted water tank, hiding behind it like I’m a kid again—like I can disappear if I just get small enough. My chest rises and falls in shallow, sharp bursts. I don’t belong here, and yet, I have nowhere to go.
Seeing Talon with that woman hurt.
It hurt in a way I can’t explain.
Why do I care?
I don’t even know him.
My fingers curl into the dirt.
I don’t hear her coming.
“Hey.”
I look up and see Mera, standing and staring down at me, a coffee mug in her hand, her expression careful but understanding.
“Didn’t mean to sneak up on you,” she says softly, crouching next to me. “I saw what happened back there. Don’t worry about Leona, she’s a bitch.”
I scoff. “Maybe, but it doesn’t change the fact that I don’t belong here.”
Mera offers me the cup. I take it, even though my hands shake. Sipping it, I close my eyes and let the warm liquid rush down my throat, bringing me a small amount of comfort.
“You want to talk about it?” she asks.
“Not really.”
She doesn’t press. Just sits beside me, pulling a pebble from the dirt and rolling it between her fingers. “You know, when I first got here, I was in a dark place, too. I didn’t fit in, and I sure as hell didn’t trust anyone. But, eventually, I realized that this life, these people, they are one of a kind. They will protect you if you let them, and they’ll do it with a fierce loyalty you won’t be able to believe until you see it.”
I’ve read enough about Mera now to know about her life. Being the daughter of the infamous Shadow Butcher made her stand out even when she didn’t want to. If anyone understands, it’s her. That still doesn’t change the fact that I have a whole army against me, and I’m not certain these bikers understand just how dangerous that army can be.
“I know, trust me, but the people after me are going to come with a force that you didn’t have. I’m scared for this. For all of it,” I admit.
“True,” she says. “You’ve been through things I can’t even begin to understand, and I know they don’t, either. If you just let them in, though, you might be surprised at what they can do.”
I set the cup down, kicking the dirt with my shoe. “I saw Talon with another girl. I don’t know why it bothered me, but fuck, it did.”
Mera exhales through her nose. “That fucking sucks, honey. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t even have a right to feel it. He’s not mine. I’m not his. We haven’t... nothing’s even happened. God, he asked me yesterday if I had been kissed and then proceeded to tell me he wouldn’t be my first. If that isn’t a hint, I don’t know what is.”
Mera laughs softly. “Talon’s a hard ass, he is always going to do the right thing because that’s just who he is, but trust me, honey. The man has eyes on you. Trust me on that.”
I glance sideways at her. “So what, I should just kiss him anyway?”
She laughs. “If you are confident enough. I guarantee he wouldn’t turn you down.”
I huff. Maybe she’s right, but she’s more than likely wrong. Either way, I’m not about to find out. Not right now, anyway. Right now, I need some space, and I have to get out of this club to do it. It’s a risk, but I just need a minute to myself to process everything that has happened.
“I’m going to take a walk,” I tell her, pushing to my feet.
“Are you sure that’s safe?”
I glance at her. “Nope, but I’m doing it anyway. I need... I don’t know, a minute.”
Mera purses her lips, but she doesn’t stop me. Instead, she steps forward and hugs me, before taking the coffee mug and disappearing. Turning, I head towards the exit, not sure where I’m going, but knowing I will be better off for it. I don’t understand a single thing about this club. Leona was demanding respect, and I know there is a reason for that.
I am from a world that is so different, yet scarily the same.
Without respect in the cult, you were punished.
Maybe it’s the same here.
I walk until my legs ache along the scarce, somewhat empty highway. It feels strange being out here alone, almost freeing. The last time I was out on my own, I was kidnapped by a fucking crazy person and held captive. But, I’m not entirely ungrateful. I met Mera, and without her, I wouldn’t be here. That’s a blessing.