Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 121210 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 606(@200wpm)___ 485(@250wpm)___ 404(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121210 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 606(@200wpm)___ 485(@250wpm)___ 404(@300wpm)
“Hey, Jose.”
I lock myself down immediately, spinning away and trying to look beyond him to watch my sister’s interaction with Bennett. “I’m only here for Norah.”
“Yeah, Ben told me what happened,” he says, and I hate the way his voice reminds me of cozy blankets and warm embraces. “I guess your mom is still up to all her old bullshit and building an army to help her.”
The last thing I want to do is have a heart-to-heart about old times with my ex-husband. I don’t even want to be civil—it hurts too much. “Clay, stop.”
“What, Josie? I can’t even express sympathy for your sister getting yanked around by a scumbag? You really hate me that much?”
“Clay, I said stop,” I urge. “We don’t need to get into any of this. As soon as Norah’s done talking to Bennett, I’m leaving.”
“Maybe you don’t need to get into this, sweetheart, but I really, really do. It’s been five fucking years, and I still don’t know what happened,” he counters, and the determination is still there inside the warm depths of his brown eyes that are directed right at me. “I want to know why you gave up on us. I deserve to know, Josie. I fucking deserve to know.”
My skin crawls with memories of the accident and the bleeding and the pain. God, there was so much pain. I feel sick to my stomach, and I swear, if I don’t get out of here soon, I’m going to coat the floor with my vomit.
Clay is in my face, not aggressively, but just there. Right there, his brown eyes staring into the depths of my soul. I can smell his familiar scent, the one I would practically get high off when we were together. I can feel the warmth of his skin, and I hate how my heart wants to remind me of what it feels like to have that warmth wrapped around my body.
It’s all too much. Way too much.
I shove around him and trudge frantically through the crowd toward the bar. I know people recognize me enough to be surprised to see me in here, but I can’t think of anything but getting to Norah and dragging her out of here as quickly as humanly possible.
She’s still mid-conversation when I get to her, but I grab her shoulder anyway and grip tight.
“Norah, we need to go,” I order impatiently. “Now.”
I know Clay won’t be far behind, but I take a deep breath and try to steady myself against my panic. I still consider Ben a dear friend, even if the rift between Clay and me has forced us apart for a lot of recent years. “By the way, Bennett, I really appreciate what you did for my sister today. Thank you.” Hurried, I don’t wait for an acknowledgment or an answer, instead turning to Norah and demanding some urgency once again. “Let’s get out of here.”
“C’mon, Josie,” Clay pleads again, reaching out to touch my arm as he arrives, but I pull it away. “Just talk to me for a minute.”
“No,” I refute.
“You’re in my bar, babe,” he comments with a little smile. “And you never come into my bar.”
“I’m only here because of my sister. Not you.”
“Are you sure about that?” Clay challenges, putting his hands on his hips and throwing history in my face once again. “If I recall, you said you’d never step foot in this bar again. Not for any fucking reason.”
“Sometimes we have to make exceptions and do things we absolutely don’t want to do because it’s for the people we love,” I say, willing myself to keep it together, even though the feeling of being so brutal is nearly debilitating. Avoidance is so much easier. The last thing I want to inspire is hope. I did what I did all those years ago for him, and I’m doing what I’m doing now for Norah. That has to be the end of it.
The scrutiny of Clay’s beautiful eyes is almost too much to bear.
“Let’s go, Norah,” I say again, but this time, I don’t wait for acquiescence before pulling her along with me. My legs churn as I charge to the exit door, the humid evening air of summer a beacon of solace.
I run from everything I don’t want to face, and I run knowing I need to.
When it comes to Clay Harris and me, history cannot repeat itself.
24
Josie
Tuesday, August 10th
For the past week, I’ve done my best to put the encounter with Clay at the bar behind me and focus on being the best support system I can be for my sister.
I want her to know she’s loved and protected, and that as much as we butt heads, I’ll do everything in my power to help her separate herself from her life with our mother and her ex-fiancé in New York.