Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 121210 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 606(@200wpm)___ 485(@250wpm)___ 404(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121210 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 606(@200wpm)___ 485(@250wpm)___ 404(@300wpm)
Because I still love her. Even after everything that’s happened, I love her so much.
“Great,” the officiant is quick to respond. “Then how about the rings? Do we have rings?”
Bennett pulls two rings out of his pockets, ones I know he and Norah managed to get from Peggy Samuel’s pawn shop, and hands them to me.
“Fantastic,” the officiant remarks. “We’ll do the rings with the exchanging of vows. Clay, why don’t you go first this time?”
I grab Josie’s hand and squeeze it. She tugs her arm a little, trying to pull away, but I ignore her efforts and keep her perfect hand locked tight within my grasp. The burn in my chest glowing even brighter, I take a breath before reciting vows I’ve thought about so much that I know them by heart. “Josie Ellis, my heart, my soul, my life. I’ll always love you. I know we’ve been through a mountain range of ups and downs, and that I’ve made a mess of mistakes at every turn, but you are, unequivocally, the only woman for me.” I smile at her. “I always knew we’d renew our vows one day, but I also imagined you’d like me a little more than you do now while we were doing it.”
“Renew our vows?” Josie questions, and her eyebrows rise in outright shock. “Clay, we’re divorced! There’s nothing to renew.”
The burn is a full-blown fire, raging inside me until my secret up and jumps right out the window.
“Actually, Josie, we’re not divorced,” I say, admitting a truth I thought I’d carry at least until Josie decided to take me back. “Not officially.”
A resounding gasp from the crowd sounds jagged even to my ears, and I know it can’t compare to what Josie is feeling by even a mile. But there’s no taking it back now. It’s out there, and I have no choice but to go with it.
“What?” Josie shouts, anger and outrage vibrating from every cell of her body. “What do you mean, we’re not officially divorced?”
I’ve been in love with Josie Ellis since the moment I met her, and public stunts like these are the way I trapped her into feeling it back.
Fuck it. Considering she already hates me, it can’t get worse.
It’s time to lay it all out there. Once and for all.
34
Josie
Tuesday, August 31st
“I never signed the final paperwork,” Clay says, and my knees threaten to give out at his words. “You and I are still married, and you know what? I don’t regret it.”
A hazy film clouds my vision, and my body sways just enough to threaten my entire equilibrium.
“You…you didn’t sign the paperwork?” I ask, my hands trembling with so much anger that I can hardly control them. I don’t have to see myself to know my wide eyes take up practically my entire face.
“No, woman,” Clay says, and he keeps his eyes locked with mine. “Because despite your constant yellin’, I still love you. So, I’d do it again!”
Blind panic takes over, and I lunge for Clay before I can even think about what I’m doing. My hands go straight for his throat, but my fingers are only able to wrap around it for mere seconds before I’m being yanked back by my sister.
“Josie!” Norah cries out, but I’m too far gone to have any decorum. This man just told me something he’s kept from me for years.
We’re not divorced.
We. Are. Not. Divorced!
My hands are fists, moving toward him in succinct waves, each pumping movement trying to hit Clay anywhere I can. But more people run to the altar, and before I know it, Norah and Breezy and Sheriff Pete are holding me back, and Bennett has Clay within his grasp.
I swear I can hear laughs and shouts from the crowd, but my heart is pounding so hard inside my chest that I can hardly hear anything else over it.
“It’s okay, Josie,” Norah whispers into my ear, comforting me with the same soothing tone I’ve been using on her for weeks. Her words—her permission to make this moment about me—are my undoing. Tears are already forming a sheen over my eyes, and sobs threaten to rob my lungs of air. With all the strength I have left, I yank my body away from my sister and Breezy and Sheriff Pete and run away from Clay and the all-too-real sham ceremony as fast as I can.
As soon as I’m away from the crowd, the tears let go. They cover my cheeks and my nose and my lips and my chin, and deep, uncontrollable sobs accompany them with a horrifying sound.
By the time I reach CAFFEINE, my hands are shaking so badly and my vision is so blurred with emotion that I can hardly unlock the door.
“Josie! Wait up!” a voice calls after me just as I’m finally getting it open.