Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 94119 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94119 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
The sudden silence was deafening. Pulling my cell from my pocket, I called my coach. “Jesse?” my high school coach answered. “How are you doing, son?”
“Has UT recruited someone else in my place?” Loud silence was Coach’s only response. I sank to my bed. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I whispered.
“Because we didn’t want it to break you, son. We didn’t want you to lose your will to fight.” I looked out the window at dusk settling in. Everything felt dark now. “Your spot on the team is still there, as is your scholarship, but the UT coach needed to make sure he had the depth he needed in his quarterbacks. You’re not out for the count, Jesse, but he had to make sure his team is as strong as possible for next season.”
“It was always impossible, wasn’t it?” I said. “A pipe dream. I was never gonna be able to recover in time for next season. I was foolish.” I released a self-deprecating laugh. “And y’all knew it and let me pretend.”
“We all need something to get us through, Jesse. You were determined.” Coach cleared his throat. “You’re the most talented player I’ve ever had the privilege of coaching. And maybe it is too late for you to get healthy for next season. But you’re only seventeen. There’s the season after. And I know Coach Higgins. He believes in you as much as I do—as much as we all do.”
Tears tracked down my cheeks.
“Son, you’re a football player. And a damn good one at that. You know it’s not over until it’s over. And the Jesse I know would keep fighting. You hear me?”
“I only have a ten percent chance of survival,” I said, my heart feeling really heavy. It was hard to always be positive. “The treatment isn’t working—might never work and then I’m all out of options.”
“You can do this, Jesse,” Coach said, and I knew that my mom must have told him already.
But I nodded, needing to hear it. My chest ached. It was times like this when I really wished I had a dad, that my dad had loved me enough to stick around and help me through rough waters. My old friend rejection infiltrated my veins. “Thanks, Coach,” I found myself saying. “I’m gonna go now.”
“You’re gonna be okay, Jesse,” he said. “I believe it.”
“Thanks,” I said. “Bye.” I hung up and laid down on my bed. I pulled the comforter over me and switched off my lamp. I couldn’t move and just wanted the world to disappear for a while.
No, that wasn’t true. I wanted Junebug. Guilt clawed at my conscience. I’d chased her away. The first person except my mom and sisters to ever love me unconditionally, who had fought for me, chased after me to make sure I was okay—and I’d sent her away.
Getting to my feet, I pulled my comforter with me and went onto the porch. Ginger was staring at me like he wanted to jump the fence and sit with me some. But there was only one person my soul was crying out for. So I sat down at her porch door to wait until she came back.
I’d beg for her forgiveness, but at this point, I felt like June and her love for me was the only thing that was tethering me to this world.
CHAPTER 16
June
Emma opened her door, and her expression fell. “I’m sorry, babes,” she said, and pulled me inside. I was thankful her parents weren’t here. I just needed alone time with my best friend at this moment.
I fell into her arms and let my emotions out. Emma held me tightly. “He won’t tell me what happened,” I said. Emma directed me to her bed, and we sat.
I wiped at my face and Emma rubbed my back. “He was a football player, wasn’t he?” Emma said, referring to the guy Jesse had been speaking to at the park.
“I think so.”
Emma shrugged. “Maybe it hit him, you know? The reality of it all. Of maybe not being well enough to play next season. Of just how much effort it will take him to get game-fit again.”
“I know,” I said, and sighed deeply. I thought of his face when he came to us under the trees. He was devastated. Jesse Taylor was fun and extroverted. The boy who sat beside us was anything but.
I’d always seen a sliver of sadness in Jesse’s soul, and I had a feeling that sliver had been cracked wide open today. “He asked me to leave him alone,” I told Emma, and my heart broke. “He’s never asked me to leave.”
Emma laid her head on my shoulder. “This is the reality of being terminally ill, isn’t it?” Emma said. “Having days when darkness shrouds your sun. When the future and dreams you had taken for granted, come crashing down.”